Three years ago I met Eben Pagan at burning man. Hes one of the coolest dudes on the planet. I told him I wanted to meet someone as gorgeous and awesome as his wife. (Background: Eben teaches men all over the world how to DoubleYourDating). Little did I know when I asked this question I was getting a blueprint on how to live in every area of my life. And burning man is a hot playground of beauty, so... He started giving me daily assignments. The first day he asked me to approach five women I was attracted too and ask them what the single top quality is they look for in a man theyd want to spend their life with. Sure. Easy to do. Sort of. The answers I got back were enlightening... nothing to do with money, looks, ego, puffing your chest out, or any of the things most guys naturally try to do. I heard things like... They let me be my weird quirky funny self... or a guy who can make me laugh... comfortable in his own skin... But in general all variations drilled down into a guy who allows the girl to find and be more of herself without shame or guilt. Liberating her into a fullllll expansion. It was a beautiful discovery. The second day he asked me to think about the single top quality I want. I had no idea... So I spent the day wandering around burning man asking the question... and at the end of the day when I was just about to give up, it HIT ME. Play. I just want to play. All day, every day for the rest of my life :-) I told him this, and on then on day 3 he helped me get my top three qualities. Playful. Healing. Supportive. On day 4 he told me to write 9 sentences. 3 sentences for three areas of life. Personal, business, and my intimate relationships. He told me to write three sentences on why each quality is important to have in each area of my life. I did the exercise and had a holy sh*t moment. When I finished I realized that how I show up in my intimate relationships is the driving force for how I show up in every other area of the world! (You can see the complete list at the end of this post). On the last day of burning man I came to him with my list and asked for the last assignment. Dane, give a talk at next years burning man. Put together a talk on these qualities and how you envision the world with them. So months later I gave a talk in front of the biggest audience in my life. The speech started off with... How you treat your wife is how you run your business. And then later I gave a talk at burning man. Since then, Ive had amazing women come into my life. And its not anything special I feel Im doing. Its just because Im living these qualities. Here is the complete list I wrote up. My Top 3 Qualities For My Life In My Personal Life: 1) Playful is important because it unlocks the best parts of my personality when I interact with Joy. 2) Healing is important because it creates a soft vulnerable space where I can interact with generosity. 3) Support is important because it is the reason we are on this planet, it is the reason for community, it creates a foundation for explosive growth. In My Intimate Relationships: 1) Playful is important because it brings out the best part of the person and allows radiance to shine. 2) Healing is important because it pulls someone out of their own quicksand and puts them onto solid ground. 3) Support is important because it creates the ability to surrender into another… when you can trust into someones support completely… your potential expands to a surprising capability. In My Business Life: 1) Playful is magic because this fun attracts more profit, more customers, and kick ass teams… being playful shifts your mind into a more creative state where you can solve problems easier and quicker. 2) Healing is important for conflicts in customer, business, and employee relationships because it creates life long fans who will stand up for you, when youve hand a hand in healing them… or healed a conflict that arises. Healing is how you transform acquaintances into friends, friends into family. I would lay down in front of a truck for any one on my team, and I know theyd do the same. 3) Support is important because its how you transform customers into raving lunatics for your vision. Support is what turns 1 customer into 10. Support is important for employees because when employees feel supported and trusted, they SOAR. They accomplish impossible feats when they know they have your support.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Jul 2014 16:57:58 +0000
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