Time for some honesty ... I honestly have no idea how I will pay my bills ,my debt is ridiculous. We owe nearly $300,000. Our mortgage was refinanced, credit cards run up with expenses like gas, and bills while Steve was paying copays and parking and the things I needed that insurance didnt pay for. He works constantly but we will never catch up. I didnt make a ton with my website but it paid for extras the girls needed etc. but I havent worked in over two years. I am so grateful for the donations I have recieved. The money I had recieved was put to good use. But the fact is I am in serious debt. And I am back to square one with NO money to pay for the cleaning lady I desperately need. I was able to pay for it one time, then my car went into the shop after it lost brakes while we were in it! Repairs were over $1000, we were without it for a month, my husbands work van only holds two people...so it had to be fixed.My car is back on the road it has 180,000 miles , but at least it now has brakes and the gas leak is fixed. I have no speedometer and the bottom is rusted so badly that we HAVE to look for another car its only a matter of time before it stops running or brakes or gas lines rust out again. It is running on prayer, just like I am. I made some money at the shoppe and it was a miracle I found the strength to set it up...but havent turned a profit yet with the things I needed like bags and rent . I used that money and some donations that I recieved from kind people that specifically wanted me to make birthdays and Christmas possible for my girls. They had nice birthdays and Christmas due to that generosity. Nothing means more to me than to see them smile. I trust in Gods plan for us, but I am worried and I see it on Steves face. Sometimes I think its harder on him having watched me suffer , helplessly, and trying to keep the kids and the house afloat. I am back in bed again ,as trying to have some semblance of normal over the holidays filled me with fluid and pain. I am forever grateful for the donations as they have been a lifesaver. But our needs and debt are overwhelming . Downsizing isnt even an option we owe too much on our home, and Steve and I worked on this home for 13 years. He has my room setup like an apartment and i survive in here. I guess Im asking for prayer for a miracle that something will come along and relieve this debt and immense pressure. I go to the oncologist on January 6th I am concerned because I have inflammation and feel lumpy on my chest wall. And it scares me to death . If you can donate it would be so appreciated and I will pay it forward in any way I can...I understand everyone has problems but ours are drowning us. If you cannot donate please share, maybe someone out there can help us. Thank you! God Bless you for caring and taking the time to read this. Prayer is what is most needed...
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 17:19:59 +0000
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