Tips For Dealing With an Attention-Seeking Child All children need attention, but some need it more than others, and it can be overwhelming to deal with. Here are some tips to make sure your attention-seeking child is getting what he needs, without overtaking the rest of the family. 1. Try to figure out the need behind the behavior. When your child is seeking your attention, theres a reason why, whether its logical or not. Maybe your child feels lost in the shuffle of your busy day, or maybe hes jealous of a new sibling. As mom Kristie M. points out, whether or not you think its true doesnt really matter; if your child feels hes not getting enough attention, hes going to do anything he can to get it. 2. Look for things that trigger attention-seeking behaviors. Most kids also have a pattern to their attention-seeking behavior. Whether it happens every time youre on the phone, when you pay attention to another child, or when your child is denied something he wants, there are probably some clear triggers. Once you identify them, you can work on ways to make those times a little easier for both of you. Keep reading for more advice on how to cope with a demanding tot! 3. Keep your childs age in mind. Its really tempting to say, Why are you acting this way? when your child is tugging at you, interrupting, or having a tantrum, but sometimes its age-appropriate to seek out your attention. For toddlers and young preschoolers, attention-seeking behavior may drive you nuts, but its normal. 4. Talk to your child about what youre seeing. Normal or not, it doesnt mean you shouldnt point out the unacceptable behavior. In dealing with her 4-year-olds constant interruptions, mom Lisa B. explained that other people need to finish a conversation before he could have a turn. With an older child, sitting down together during a time when things are calm and saying, Ive been noticing that lately youve been . . . is a good way to start that conversation. 5. Don’t get sucked into providing negative attention. Keep in mind that to a child, attention is attention, no matter what type it is. Its easy to get sucked into to arguing with your child or reacting to her negative behavior. If what shes doing isnt dangerous or destructive, try to do your best to simply ignore it. If you have to address the behavior, do so with as few words as possible, try to be calm, and step away. 6. Ignore guilt trips. Parenting and guilt frequently come hand in hand. Moms say they feel guilty about all sorts of things when it comes to their children, including not spending enough time with them. Unfortunately, sensing guilt is something kids seem to be really good at. If your attention-seeking child plays on your guilt, be strong. Address the behavior without letting her know shes hit a sore spot. 7. Try to increase random positive attention. It may sound like some sort of experiment, but giving your child positive attention and feedback at random times can help reduce his need to seek your attention. Giving him one-on-one attention when he expects it is great, too, but if he gets it unexpectedly, hes more likely to know that he doesnt have to be scheduled into your day. 8. Set behavior boundaries. Some attention-seeking behaviors are just annoying, while others are absolutely unacceptable. Social worker James Lehman of the website Empowering Parents says that if your childs attention-seeking is making her the focus of all the attention in the house, its time to set some clear boundaries. He suggests developing a nonverbal cue to let your child know when shes monopolizing attention. He also says when your older child is putting on a behavioral show to get attention, ask her to take the show on the road — usually to another room.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 07:38:27 +0000
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