To all of my family and friends...thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and concern...and for reaching out to me over Brians death. As you know Brian lived with me for awhile...he was part of my family....Lexi, Cindy and Josh loved him dearly and became very close with him.....they were like sister and brother...and brother to brother...even though they are cousins. Brian and Josh used to go across the street and play fussball all the time and we used to go to the Chicago Fire games all the time which he loved! We even bought a chicago Fire soccer ball! I will always remember one day when Brian came home from playing soccer and said to me Aunt Heidi..this is the first time I have had a tan in many years!...he was so excited and happy because he looked so handsome with color on his face...he wasnt pale any longer. :) I remember one day when I found out that I had skin cancer...I was so devastated and I was sitting on the floor crying....when Brian came into the room and said I am so sorry....is there anything I can do for you? and I said no honey there isnt...so he gave me a big hug and just held me. This is the kind of person Brian is....he has a Heart of GOLD...He knows how to love in a very deep and genuine way ...he made me feel loved.....he always gave me the time of day. One day I was going to work and I was wearing this bright yellow dress (it was in the summer) and Brian looked at me and said Aunt Heidi...you look like the sun...like the sunshine!.....who says things like that??....Our Brian does ...because he cares about other people!! I used to complain to him that my kids never help around the house..so guess what he did ....he started helping me around the house (It has been very hard for me being a single parent for 10 years and working two jobs at a time) he would unload the dishes and take out the garbage and he cleaned up the whole entire basement one day while I was at work. I was so grateful! When he first moved in I helped him get a job at my favorite Chinese Restaurant ...he was the delivery driver...he loved this job!!! The people he worked with loved him. I used to go in there almost every night after I would get off of work just to see him and say hi to him...I loved watching him work! Within one weeks time he got another job...his second one...I told him he should go apply at Burlington Coat Factory...and they hired him on the spot....he was so happy and I was so proud of him! He was making really good money...and this whole time he was Clean....the only thing he was doing was having a glass of beer every so often. He loved using my German beer glasses...he would pour the beer into the glass instead of drinking it out of the bottle because he had class. I was always proud to be out in public with him because he had class and he knew how to talk to people/strangers. On night we went to a pub together to play pool and the next thing I know he made friends with the whole place...thats how he is! Being raised all over the world was good for him...he missed that! he loved having meaningful conversations with me and other people...he longed for that...he wasnt about small talk which I loved...because i am like that also...who has time for small talk...lets talk about something that matters in life. And thats what Brian and I did...when he would get home at night from working two jobs and I would get home at night from working...although we were both tired we would sit in the family room on the couch and talk about our Father God and Jesus Christ all the time.....that was our favorite past time...we would sit for hours and just talk about the Lord..it was awesome. What I loved about Brian is that he was on Fire for God.....he would ask me questions about the Bible because he wanted to learn and he was very eager! And every day I noticed that he was closer and closer to God! It was so good for me too because I love talking about the Lord and HIS Goodness and how AWESOME GOD is!! Brian loved going to church with us...I introduced Brian to my Pastor and his wife and their son and brian was working on a short movie at our chruch. As some of you may know brian wanted to be writer and film maker.....and i always told him that I could envision seeing his name in lights as a famous Film Producer!!! My goal along with his loving dad Bill and his loving mom Julie....was to help him in every way off of that horrible addiction that he was trapped in...and every day he was getting better in fighting it! He was getting strength and help from GOD. I remember one day when he had to go back to Colorado Springs to take care of some things there...he said to me Aunt Heidi....I am so afraid to go back there..I dont want to go back there because I dont trust myself....its like a child in a candy store..the temptation is too strong....thats how I feel about my addiction --- this broke my heart when he said this to me. He wanted to be free of this terrible addiction....and you know what.....Brian is FREE now because he is in Heaven with our Father God and Jesus Christ....he is there for sure walking the streets of Gold....Praise God!! Brians chains have been broken...he has been set Free...FREE indeed...no more struggle ...no more suffering for him....only Love and Peace! Since I found out about Brians death I have been crying every day because I miss him down here on earth.....sometimes I feel guilty of crying so much but we as humans are allowed to grieve...we should grieve..its part of being human. Sometimes I feel selfish because I want Brian here with me...but its okay to feel this way..if you are feeling this way who is reading this...its okay to feel what we feel.......but we need to think about Brian.....he is in Heaven and thats awesome! TO YOU BRIAN...YOUR AUNT HEIDI LOVES YOU SO DEEPLY AND I LOVE YOU JUST AS MY OWN SON...YOU KNOW THAT.....AND i CANT WAIT TO BE WITH YOU IN HEAVEN.......WHAT A CELEBRATION WE WILL HAVE!!! here are some scriptures on grieving: Psalm 10:14, Pr. 14:13, La 3:32, Jn16:20, 1Peter 1:6
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 19:04:45 +0000
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