Today I am giving you the choice between a blessing and a curse Deuteronomy 11:26 We all have a measure of choice but people who walk the path of grief like me carry an additional burden. How will I continue living? Will I ever choose to see the good in things? Will I enjoy raising my girls without Scott? Will I ever live a good life? As I was driving home from Green Bay this afternoon from spending the weekend with Scotts family & friends I felt at peace. I hesitated going to Green Bay because I knew emotionally it would be hard for me. I have come to realize that I need to live my life and enjoy these times that I have. As hard as being around everyone closest to Scott was, it was good for me to work thru some feelings. I have come to realize that out of the pain and sadness I feel, those moments that are the hardest are when I am the most content. Those vulnerable moments are when I realize what is most important in life. I never would have chosen this life for myself. I would give anything to have Scott here with me. But I am choosing to be content. I am choosing to be the best mom I know how to be for my girls. I am choosing to enjoy my time here on earth because we never know when our time is up. Scott wouldnt want me to not keep living my life. Being surrounded by his family & friends this weekend made me grateful that the girls & I have them in our lives. Because of them we will be ok. They keep the spirit of Scott alive in all of us. I will be ok. Its not always going to be easy & the pain will never go away. But I will choose to do the best I know to be the mom & person god wants me to be.
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 01:38:07 +0000
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