Today I was tasked with thinking about how gay marriage destroys families. I am breaking confidences here as this is really not for public knowledge but this is what I wrote... OK...this is a big secret but this is how gay marriages destroy families. See every time there is a gay marriage, a unicorn is born. Now these unicorns are invisible so youll have to take my word for it. They poop rainbow confetti which is also invisible.(Again, just trust me.) Since the rainbow confetti poop is invisible it never gets cleaned up but it doesnt smell like poop...it smells like flowery perfume. The straight man walks through it but doesnt even know it cuz lets face it, most guys are pretty oblivious to anything flowery and pretty smelling. He gets home and his wife notices the perfumey aroma coming from her husband. She strikes up a conversation about flowers, perfume, etc. and he has no idea what shes talking about. Days go by. Weeks go by. He keeps coming home smelling of rainbow confetti poop. Finally shes had enough and accuses him of messing around because he comes home smelling pretty. He, of course, denies it and they get into a huge fight. She throws a shoe. He storms out of the house. They file for divorce and VIOLA!!! Gay marriage has destroyed a family. Its a terrible thing...just terrible. Although the good thing is...once gay marriage is fully legal and recognized everywhere the World will smell of Unicorns rainbow confetti poop.
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 00:29:38 +0000
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