Today Lexi woke up around 3:30 in the morning, having a seizure. We held her and kissed her, tried bringing her into our bed once it was over. She said no Lexis bed. So I tucked her back in, sat next to her as she fell asleep, listening to every breath. It never really feels safe for me to go to sleep after shes had a seizure. My heart beats fast as I think about how much I hate epilepsy and then how incredibly grateful we are to still have what we have. So many parents have lost their child to this monster. We are some of the lucky ones. Then tonight, not even 20 minutes into bedtime, she starts seizing again. 8 long minutes. I am completely helpless. I can stare at the clock, plan my next move if it doesnt stop soon, and with kisses, tell her its going to be ok. Sometimes it doesnt feel like its going to be ok. I am devastated. And as quick as it started, it stops. Lexi closes her eyes, wraps her arm around her sweet kitty, half-smiles and says meow meow. God- make me more like Lexi...
Posted on: Tue, 26 Nov 2013 06:04:31 +0000
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