Today has felt like a fresh breeze blowing through all the dark clouds of the last two years. Its been the best day because I was able to talk to someone I love so very much who I havent been able to. Theres so many issues coming up including someone else I love dearly, of the help I need and trauma I need to process. Which I hope will be the long walk to some better mental health. The last 6 months in particular have been absolute hell. I havent been able to go out much, to see friends, to go to birthday parties. Basic things you take for granted have been so debilitating I havent recognised who I was anymore. Ive given up Presidency of my Students Union, fallen behind massively with work and worried my nearly 70 year old parents to death. A few weeks ago just before my birthday everything cracked. Its taken this long, this amount of true soul searching to know that when youve tried on will power alone for so so many years that eventually if it doesnt work, you have to scream out and get help elsewhere. I will never be quiet about depression. Its too important when so many people are struggling just to do things that make their day to day lives unbeatable, that we are not silent. Every story I hear of people fighting back inspires me more than I can say. Now I am going to get the help I genuinely need and I will god damn win this battle. Life is in fact too beautiful, impossible to see sometimes when this cancer exists in your mind. Just never try and be too strong for too long. Ever.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 23:24:59 +0000
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