Today i had a reeeeeally exciting day of random doing things, occupying the time warp of not doing-anything-ness with not drinking-ness. given my present mood many would have been driven to it but I dont drink wine because I dont like the taste of it. I have never been drunker than a skunk nor even half pissed. The last time i drank something it was the first time I have received a Valentine from other than my sons. It was bubbly and I think I drank half a glass in my little black dress and heels half way up a gum tree... I remember how the gumtree left white chalky marks all over the black material and how my partner climbing behind me managed the bottle so well and we drank its contents elegantly out of glasses made from crystal. Hes elegant like that. I pretend. He is. Id rather climb a gumtree in my best dress than drink and chat sillily like some folks do at parties i never go to because I feel as if Im in a bubble of my not drinkingness. Its isolating. Id rather be chatting in a gumtree. I dont often get to wear my best dress which is secondhand and a little faded but I know it looks nice even with gumtree glaucousness all over it. Its lovely that I can get away with climbing a gumtree in a black halter neck and heels at the age of 46 with a fellow who climbs them professionally. I didnt go anywhere like all the days of the past 6 weeks and I didnt achieve anything more great than not putting together the plumbing at the cottage but figuring it out just a little bit more, and figuring out that I dont have enough money to put it all together right now or do anything else which is a tad frustrating. Im a girl who likes to start a job at every end and finish it in the middle. However the ends will cost more than I will earn in the next few months and thats just the beginning of the end so to speak... the end being that Council will eventually throw some big official book at me and I will have to heave it right back with careful words and intelligence saying sorry darlins but Im kind of broke atm and you are going to have to shut your eyes on my crimes of illegal housebuilding if you want the rates out of me. I cant pay your fines and I cant build what you want me to build in the time you want me to build it with the regulatory costs you create that i cant possibly afford. So I just plodded around with my box of plumbing fittings working out what I didnt have and got a little bit depressed about things, so I drank chai out of a white mug and brought the washing in and pondered this stasis of life... and thats where Im at. I need a 40 mm poly elbow end joiner. Not great but ok. A hug would suffice, i spose. You know... that kind of hug. without a car hugs like that are hard to get spontaneously right now. I could ask for one if I rode for an hour and a half... wont happen, no lights. Need money for batteries and a shop and logistics that work out. Oh well. Tomoz is another day with some different occupations in it. I might even sell an olive tree... :)
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 12:07:17 +0000
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