Today was another reality check for me while we at the radiologist appt.And a good friend who has a daughter going through the same thing posted this today and for once everything she wrote word for word is what i felt.........i just changed a few things to sum it up for Espy .Seeing Espy cut her her shaved and seeing bald spots omg.For that moment in time I had to say goodbye to my child....I had to tearfully choke down the emotions of losing my happy, healthy child that had hair and looked like herself for a cancer kid that lost almost 10 lbs and looked like a skeleton of her old self. .....as a parent I died inside. Im not the same person I used to be. Every day is a battle, every day I long to be myself again. Ill never be the same and Im still trying to come to terms with that. While I may be smiling and trying to put on a brave face, Im just trying to get through another day, thankful to have my baby but fearful cancer could still rip her away from my arms. Ive become a recluse in ways because Im scared to let loose and have fun. July 14,2014 I took my baby, my four year old into the hospital thinking it was a stomach bug or appendicitis. I was too relaxed, I expected meds and to be on our way. Because of that, Ill never be the same person I once was and now worry when my other kids complain about pains and etc. But i do thank you all for your continuous support and prayers and being apart of this journey step by step.i love hearing from followers that they check her page daily.so blessed some many have let our princess into their heart
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 06:22:53 +0000
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