Today’s First Things First is on The “C” Word- Communication. Like the “D” word I spoke about the other day (Discipline), Communication is one of the most essential yet most deficient attributes in our modern society. Both the spoken and written word has the potential to be used for the highest good and unfortunately also for evil. Both written and spoken words are also used in seemingly neutral application as well, i.e. “idle” chatter, “entertainment” and other; I would argue, however, that all communication is either adding or subtracting. For the purpose of this short lesson today, we will focus only on what we can do to make sure that our own communication is meaningful and has the desired effect and, as even this is a broader subject than the scope of this message, specifically on how to use our voice to create the good we want to see in our lives. Rather in a family, a business, a parent and child or any other relationship, the objective of communication should be to make both participants and the relationship stronger. We know that this is often not the case. While communication is vital for a relationship to prosper, good communication is critical to make sure that every encounter adds rather than subtracts. Lack of communication stifles or kills a relationship it is true; it is also true that the quality of the communication either strengthens or weakens both the participants and the relationship itself. Good communication enlightens, empowers, educates and/or edifies; poor communication is at best useless and at worst harmful. So here are some easy rules to apply to strengthen your communication skills: • Listen more than you talk- Not only will it empower the other person, but also we have a greater chance to learn when listening. • Talk about things that matter- Use the power of your words to educate, encourage or otherwise improve someone’s life. • Drop the opinions- This is one of the biggest ones. We all have opinions and this is OK as we use them towards meaningful decisions and/or action; but many people seem more to care more about convincing others and about being right than about being productive. Not only does this create polarities that can negatively affect the relationship but also, more often than not, it wastes everybody’s time and keeps us from focusing on important things that can make a difference. Arguments of opinion are useful in philosophy classrooms and in senate but a distraction in the lives of most of us. If you care so much about your political opinion, for example, vote; whatever you think about our electoral process, it will be more useful than trying to sway your liberal buddy right or your conservative one left- in person or on Facebook. • Use your words to accomplish something- This may seem redundant, but I want to point out a few other rules to making your language useful: o The correct purpose- Speak to crate a desired result (motivate an employee, make a sale, teach a child, encourage a friend). o The correct message- Say what you mean. We often beat around the bush and feel better after our talk but have accomplished nothing we meant to by being there. o The correct audience- Not that one should ever complain (we could have done a whole lesson on the problems with consummate complaining) but if we do have a legitimate grievance with someone (a boss, an employee, a spouse or anyone else) the only person that can do anything to rectify the situation is the person you have the grievance with. I cannot overstate the importance of this rule. Grumbling about someone to somebody else is at best futile and at worst destructive. Don’t complain about your boss, your pay or anything else about your job with your co-workers; this is a sure fire way to get less of what you want and more of what you don’t. If you must complain, go up. The same applies to your spouse or any other important person in your life. If you want to improve the relationship and/or any piece of it, go to the source. Another element of effective communication is knowing when to shut up. As much as I am enjoying writing this (the very act of creating communication can edify the author as much as the audience), I fear I may be encroaching upon the 2-5 minutes it is supposed to take for you to enjoy my message daily. If you do enjoy this segment, my video and/or written messagess daily, please share them and please write me to let me know. Thanks for taking the time and make it a great day! Apply today’s lesson in your communication with someone and then drop an email to me and let me know how it goes! Thank you in advance for the quality communication! I appreciate you! Stephen Del Castillo shihansteve@tampakravmaga kmmausa
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:14:37 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015