Tonight has been the hardest night of my life. its never easy finding out that the love of your life has been cheating on you for several months and its never easy to have to go to the hospital because you got in an argument with the wrong guy at the wrong time. Love and happiness turns into police reports, hospitals, jails, and EPOs. Its like Im in someones elses life. Its like I can hear everyone tell me whats happening, but its just a noise fading into the background. I keep telling myself its not real. It cant be, but everyone is saying that it is. Where did I go wrong? Theres only so many times that someone can tell me its my fault and that I deserve it before I believe his words. This cant be happening to me. Not me. Not him. Someone please wake me up now. Why have my nightmares turned into a sudden reality? Is there a rewind button? Is there a happy ending when you go to shut the book that you never wanted to stop writing? Im half alive but I feel mostly dead. But what I dont understand the most is that I would rather live a life with you under any circumstances than to ever have to face even just one day without you. Thats what I dont understand. Id rather my heart stop beating to have to start out because it would just be a lot because you are my whole world, life, the beginning and the ending of every page of my life. I just want this to all go away. Tell me this isnt real.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:41:44 +0000
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