UNITY OF THE COMMUNITY John ibn Doh entered a mosque in America looking for Muhammad. He asked a bearded Arab man wearing a kufi sweeping near the entrance about his whereabouts. Oh, you mean that Faasiq (Transgressor)? Pfft! I heard he broke challah bread with the Ambassador of Saudi Arabia at the White House Iftar. Youll probably find him eating a bagel and drinking Bebsi in the kitchen with the Hindu. Doh went to the kitchen and found an unbearded Pakistani man in shalwar khameez humming a delightful tune busy cleaning the dishes. He asked the same question. Who told he was Faasiq? I bet it was that Arab Munafiqh (Hypocrite) with the beard, eh? Do you know his wife acted in a Mipsterz video? He also made a cameo in the Happy video. La howla! He doesnt even pray his Namaaz (Daily prayers) or keep Roza (Fast)! Dont listen to him. Go upstairs to find out more! Doh went to the sisters section upstairs, which was very cramped, dark and humid, and found an African American woman wearing a hijab and asked her the same question. Dont listen to both of those Mushriqs (Idolators), one listens to Qawwali, the other to Umm Khulthoum and both love watching Bollywood while smoking sheesha. Astagfurllah! I knew a Muhammad once -- but he borrowed $500 from me and never gave it back. Ask the sisters over there, but stay away from the dirty ones who dont wear hijab. Doh found a non-hijab wearing White convert and asked her the same. What did you hear from these Bidis (False Innovators)? Always innovating haraam (forbidden) stuff. Like Bean Pies and Biryani. That didnt exist during the time of the Prophet. Alhamdooliloo! I keep it real. My culture is Islam -- even though Im speaking English and wearing jeans. I met a Muhammad once, however, who tried making me his second wife, which was odd, because he didnt even have a first wife. Go to the driveway, he might have pulled up. Doh started growing anxious and fulstered. He went outside to the driveway and found a Turk eating a Turkish delight and drinking an Ayran and asked him. The Turk replied, Listen, all you need to know is everyone inside that mosque is misguided. Dont listen to the Haramis (Those who commit sin)! The Ottoman Caliphate will rise again and cleanse all the wickedness! Would you like a Turkish delight? Doh became exasperated. He turned away in defeat and disgust. He bumped into a man with a medium build, medium height, medium beard and moderate disposition. Surely, you must be the Muhammad Ive been looking for! Doh exclaimed with joy and hope. Listen, I dont know who youre talking about, but I go by Mo. And, word of advice, stay away from all those Kaafirs (Those who reject; Infidels) inside the mosque. Hey, by the way, can you lend me $500?
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 00:08:27 +0000
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