Ugh. Bleh. Joy.... sucked out of life. Depressed. Confused. - TopicsExpress

Ugh. Bleh. Joy.... sucked out of life. Depressed. Confused. Hurt. Self doubt. Shock. Fear. Worse part is it was my decision. My choice. My doing. What I thought was the wisest and best thing to do. And now I suffer the consequences. And I am heart sick. Last year during a very difficult and dark time to help me cope I did my own version of Hurt singing and playing my bass guitar (and yes I did the NIN version not the Johnny Cash one). I am a big boy. And I will be ok. But I am sharing this because this is where my head and heart is tonight. Well that and there are a lot of newer FB friends who never heard it anyways. Because doing what I think was the wisest thing to do for both of us doesnt mean I liked it. Because I still love her. And I miss her. A lot. And I want her to know that. And that I am still there for her. Always. She is not perfect. But hell neither am I. Hopefully sharing this publicly will both help me cope and grow, and also let her know how much she means to me. And always will --- LB

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