Usually I have always celebrated two dates a year, this date and May 6, the day of my transplant. Now I have four days to celebrate, one being yesterday. As I sat here and reflect on everything that has happened to me in my 35 years I am astonished. For one I never expected to see this birthday, but God has a plan it seems. Then my reflection takes me mostly back to the last couple years. I once was so vibrant, constantly outgoing, never ever slowing down. That was the old me, the new me has to realize there are limitations now, I may not like it, sometimes despise it, but it is now my life. For some reason I was chosen by God to live this life and I have truly lived. I have loved, been loved, been heart broken, broken a few hearts and felt the severe loss of death. But I have also got to experience so much. I have a college education, traveled through numerous states, seen things most only dream about, been at my highest and sunk to my lowest. I have never known the feeling of a healthy day but it has never stopped me, may have slowed me down, but never stopped me. I have so many dear and wonderful friends here in the States and in other countries as well. I have a family that loves me. A horse that would never bring harm to me and my dog, Bruke. I have so many wonderful nieces and nephews and great nieces. Soon to be a great Auntie to two more this year and to be an aunt for the 19th time. So for a woman with so much that has went wrong, fighting every day, always have been in the dark when it came to my health cause God choose me to be unique. I have survived one rare life threatening syndrome and I shall survive this rare life threatening syndrome as well. I know many feel sorry for me, pity everything I have been through and will have to go through. I dont see pity in myself. I see an independent woman that loves life and if the good Lord called me home today I would have no regrets. Except one. I do not despise my life nor do I question Why. I am here and for now thats just fine with me! Most people hate getting older, i look so forward to it. So 35 isnt so bad in my eyes. This old cowgirl still has it :p So today I celebrate life, may not be the perfect life, but it is life TO ME! This weekend I look so forward to being with my friends dancing the night away being escorted by a great guy and father. I guess what I am trying to say is cherish what you have, dont find pity and fault in your limitations, be kind to everyone, because believe me everyone is battling something of their own. I have received so many birthday wishes and presents so far and I know I will receive more as the day goes by. Thank you all and never forget I love you. You have my undying love, Nik xoxo
Posted on: Wed, 29 Jan 2014 08:24:01 +0000
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