WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A BEREAVED PERSON , By Teresa Wilkin on Sunday, 21 April 2013 at 17:40 What Not to Say!!! This happens to all the survivors I know, including myself. The ignorant or unknowing can say things that are sometimes insensitive. At one time those remarks would really upset me. But now I try to think that these people dont know what to say because theyve never experienced what we have. They just dont know! But then I also try to remember that for those people to know and understand this, that would mean another victim and more survivors. So I try to tell myself they are just lucky and dont know it. 1. The number one No No word is the word closure. Closure is simply a media buzz word with no substance, The traumatic death of a loved one will never be closed. 2. Your loved one is in a better place - surviving families feel that the better place is home with them. 3. You need to go on with your life - let it go - Thank God they dont know how we feel. I think they are shocked at the fact that we have a death of a child - they dont know how to put their feelings into words because really, how can they understand the shock, guilt, hate, anger, revenge? 4. I know how you feel - unless you have experienced the death of a child, you will never know how a bereaved parent feels. 5. Your child is up with God looking down on you – 6. Things happen for a reason - what possible reason could there be for a child to die? 7. God needs your child more than you do - who can speak for God? 8. They will no longer be in pain – 9. It will be all right - how can it be all right? Our child had died. 10. It will get better - things may get easier, but it takes many months and even years - too far in the future for parents to find comfort from these words. 11. It was Gods will 12. Your child was in the wrong place at the wrong time - this statement places the blame on the victim. 13. Time heals all wounds - time doesnt heal anything - its what you do with that time. 14. You are so strong 15. I admire your courage 16. No sense in crying over spilled milk 17. Life goes on 18. Count your blessings 19. Only the good die young 20. You still have your memories 21. What doesnt kill you, helps you 22. God didnt give you anything you cannot handle 23. God has something better for you in store 24. This will pass LikeLike · George Coombs This is good Teresa, I tend to think one should never worry about not knowing what to say, the ministry and service of presence can mean so much, the fact of just being there to listen...I was devastated when my dear mother initially passed and I remember with such apreciation people who were just there -
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 22:27:09 +0000
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