WHY I TEACH I meditated long and hard for many years on the question of why I teach. And the answer turned out to be obvious. Why do I write? Why do I hold meetings and retreats? Why do I dedicate a big part of my life to the exploration of consciousness, the discovery of acceptance in the darkest places of the psyche? Why do I make so much very intimate, very ‘personal’ material available for so many to read, to love or hate? Why should I share myself like this? Is it for the popularity, the adulation, the fame, the attention? No, Ive never sought the limelight, Ive always cherished my solitude. I’ve always loved my own company. In fact, being a public figure is something I’m still not entirely comfortable with. Speaking in front of large groups of people is not my preference. I dont relish the attention. I love my privacy, my space. And yet I have found a certain fondness for the role of guide, learned to hold it with supreme lightness and tenderness, and found healthy boundaries in all directions. I try not to get too identified with the role. I never take anything for granted. Do I want to be seen as a guru, an expert, a role model, someone who has all the answers? Do I want followers, fans? No. I have never been a follower myself and I do not understand it very much. Life itself has always been my guru. I see no power but life itself. I see equality – that we are all as special and unspecial as each other, so many flowers in lifes garden. I want people to turn towards their own deep intelligence, their own inner guidance system, learn to love the place where they are, sink into their own aloneness and let their questions breathe and rest. Is it ironic that someone who says ‘trust your own inner authority will be seen by some as an external authority? Yes. And I have learned to love that paradox too. And I never forget that I am human. Is it for the money? No. If I wanted money, there are much easier and more effective ways of making it. I have had money in the past, and I have known the absence of money, and I know how empty money is when there is no connection, no joy, no love, no real human warmth, no compassion, no generosity. The best things in life are truly free, and I do not lose sight of that. If I’d been doing this solely for the money, I would have walked away long ago in disgust and despair. I have only one conclusion. I am doing this not for the kudos, the fame, the status, the rewards, but because I love kindness. I believe that kindness can save the world a thousand times over. I love the exploration of empathic attunement and connection - within ourselves, with others, who are really ourselves in disguise. I love sharing from my heart, risking everything for truth. I love seeing people move from contraction to relaxation, from fixed views to open hearts. I love seeing the seeking of a lifetime come to rest in the present moment. I love the birth of gratitude. I love authenticity, and I am drawn to that. I love how forgiveness often happens when we aren’t even trying to forgive. I love it when we stop pretending - to be spiritual, to be awakened, to be right, to be anything other than what we actually are. I have suffered deeply in my life and I love the fact that it seems to be possible to touch others in their sorrow, and bring light into the unlit places, and find friendship in the midst of conflict. Beyond money, fame, success, adulation, worldly treasures; and beyond failure, criticism, disappointment and despair; there is this meeting that can happen. And I suppose, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, I am dedicating myself to this meeting. At least, for now. At least, for today. And perhaps there is no choice but to dedicate myself. Or perhaps I had been dedicated from the beginning. Not my will, but the will of That which grows the flowers and keeps the planets in their orbits. Either way, it doesnt matter, and I don’t think too much about questions of free will. The Mystery is too deep. We are here. It is Now. And so we begin. - Jeff Foster
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 21:26:12 +0000
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