Wages of Sin. She turned her head away. She couldnt bear to look at him without letting the anger show. No. She thought, we mustnt let it show. This mask must be in place, no emotion must be betrayed. Yes Honey, she faced him. The smile plastered. She was in character. I saw him. He sends his regards. Okay. Please remind me to call him later for the results. He is a good Doctor. Yeah right, she thought. Good indeed. How her husband convince the good Doctor to play is game, she would only wonder. He did have what people call the power of persuasion. Look at her. Her persuaded her into marrying him within a month of courtship, abandoning her education and cutting ties with her family. He had even convinced her to wait a while before having children. Said he wanted to have her, all to himself for as long as he could. She had agreed and has got pregnant many years later. This was her first moment of reflection and she was not happy. She watched him as he ate, hatred taking over where love hitherto had dwelled. Why? She wondered. But she knew she was going to wonder all her life because she hadnt intended to give him any chance for an explanations. She was going to end it all, tonight. She wasnt going to let anything deter her, she was on a mission and by God! she was going to fulfill it. She hadnt realised that he had spoken until he touched her. Hmm? She quirked her brows. Goodness! What are you thinking about? He querried, a frown begiginning to line his handsome face. Did anything happen at the Doctors? No! She said it more forcefully than she intended. No, nothing happened she said with a smile this time, trying very hard to mask that hatred she felt, tugging at her heart so much it hurt. He must have spoken, but her mind was miles away. Back to the doctors office that morning when she waited to go in with her results from the lab. Hers had been stapled so she didnt know what to expect. Truth was she wasnt expecting nothing negative. She was pregnant, healthily so. She hadnt had any of the syptoms that had most women bedridden. She was well, she was hearty...Just the cravings.... Not meaning to eavesdrop, but the two women beside her werent talking in whispers. She heard them, and died inside. Thank God! The first one exclaimed as she lowered her self into a chair Thank God indeed! The second woman echoed. E no easy oo, this thing wey don become like water. People no dey even hide am again oo, Edon plenty too much. My sister. No be small thing o. Eyyah, you notice that woman wey dey infront? E be like say her result get staple oo. Wetin that one come mean? The first womans attention was sought by another pregnant woman who had just left the doctors office. They spoke for a short while. If felt like eternity to her. She wanted to know what it meant for ones lab results to be stapled. It felt like eternity waiting for her to get back to the conversation which diet happen because they then left together to God knows where. She looked again at the envelope she held and wondered why she should feel as uneasy as she did. She unpinned it and looked, but all the mumbo jumbo there made absolutely no sense to her. She scanned for HIV or AIDS, but nothing like that was there. There were a lot of positive marks on the sheet though.She folded it back and waited her turn to see the doctor. She contemplated going into the third consulting room, not one she had always been in, the one her husbands friend consulted in. The urge to know, and from him, everything her stapled piece of paper contained was so strong she resolved to wait and see him instead. She braced herself for the worst and wore a smile even she knew was fake. She tried to answer the doctors greeting as cheerfully as she could, but her voice came out sounding pitched. One look at her and he asked if she was okay. Im fine Doctor. Just tired. She answered. Yes,he answered. It is normal now that you are in your third trimester. She managed a wan smile and handed him the piece of paper she had been clutching. He began to unfold it asking what it was. Ah, he said before she could answer. Not that she intended to anyway. Its your results from the lab. Yes. She croaked. You shouldnt have bothered. I would have got them myself. Yes Doctor. I went because everyone was going. He began to put it in her folder but she wasnt done. She wanted to somewhat it said. Why it was stapled. Well, He wass saying, everything seems fine... No Sir. I want to know what all the positives there mean. She interrupted him, reaching out to pull the sheet from him. Which ones? Like this one. Ketones? Oh he said. Thats nothing serious. Im sure its just a trace which may get because you had not eaten when the test was conducted. Nothing to worry about. One by one he explained each one and little by little she handgun to relax, her fears abating...then she called out HOPE and he had kept quiet. Now she knew something was wrong so she prodded. She asked him if that was AIDS but he shook his head. He told her it was HIV, and that it may never get to be aids with proper care and management. She knew all that.what she was interested in was if the doctor knew she had that before now, he had nodded. Did her husband know? Another nod. So why was she in the dark? Her husband had wanted it so.Why? The doctor didnt know. But you help him keep it from me? He tried to explain, but she wasnt going to let him. She made him later to her own lecture instead, of how very unethical what he did was. Her husband was his friend, but she was his patient! Whatever happened to Doctor-Patient confidentiality? She left his office amidst protest that she stayed a while to digest the news, to absolve the shock, or at least, see a counsellor, but she ignored. She told the him that she had already suspected and had only wanted confirmation. She was fine She wasnt aware she was in the middle of traffic and had narrowly missed being hit, until a traffic warden yanked at her by the arm and shouted angrily. Madam! You wan commit suicide? Why you wan put ya blood for somebody han this aftnoon? Abi you dey craze ni? Sorry, she began to apologize but was cut short. You think say na only you get problem? Abeg commot for road! the warden had drawn a long hiss and turned away. She had walk back into the hospital parking lot, realizing that she had left her car there. The security man she smiled at asked if Madam had forgotten something. She had laughed and answered Yes. My car. Sitting in the car gave her the opportunity to calm her nerves. She knew she had to pull herself together so she could plan her next phase action. She wasntt going to face her situation lying down. She intended to end it, but she had to plan a strategy. She drove out waving the gate man a cheerful goodbye and head to the market for stuff she didnt need, just so that shed be as calm as she could possibly be before she got home. It was there she got her epiphany. There, she resolved she was going to end her bondage. She had got home and cooked her husbands favourite dish, worn her most charming smile and waited for him to get home. Only then the emotions began to run riot. For a minute there it felt like she was going to burst, like some explosive gas in a corked glass bottle. The knowledge that her plan was at stake kept was going. So she must force herself to be nice. He had been the one who took her to the doctor she saw today, they had been friends since college. He must have trusted him enough to tell him he was sick and must have some considerable influence to make him keep it from her. But why had the doctor gone along with not telling her? Her husband was not only running her life he was ruining it too. That must stop. She was taking her life back for the sake of her sanity. Shed need that if she was going to raise her baby alone. Yes. Her marriage was over and her husband wasnt even going to know it. She wasnt going to give him the chance to. She dished out more food unto his plate and poured out more of the ginger juice he loved so much and watched him eat, oblivious of what was happening, what was going to happen to him. They went to sleep like they normally did, together. He did not call the doctor, like she knew he wouldnt, and she drifted off to sleep with her head resting in the crook of his arm. She was surprised, when she woke up, that she had slept through her storm like a baby, she neither dreamed nor had any nightmares...she must be on the right track. The pillow next to hers was empty and she wondered what time it was. 10AM. She sat up and called out, not that she expected any response. He must have left for work. He never disturbed her sleep, one of the many reasons she loved him to death. To death. She laughed. Then the tears began to flow. She was still where she was when the door bell rang and she went to open it. There were three colleagues of his there, two females and one male. The news of his crash shouldnt have shocked her, she expected it, but she still collapsed. She woke up at the hospital all hooked up to machines...the doctors told her that that they had to remove the baby by a C-section or they would have lost him. Him. A boy. Now this was one person she was going to live for. One person she was going to tell why his father died. And she was going to tell the truth, that he died because he was sick and hid it. That he committed an unforgivable sin. She was going to teach her son, that the wages of sin, was death. The end! Finally! Better late than never.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 20:44:56 +0000
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