Wallace Beach 1 year ago today 10/13/13. Dealing with the Death and Loss of a Spouse The loss of a spouse is devastating and requires one of the biggest life adjustments you’ll ever have to make. Some experts say that the loss and the new identity it thrusts upon you take at least three years to adjust to, and often much longer. You are accustomed to someone’s continued presence, from a greeting when you come home to having someone to share your daily life with. The stories you tell over dinner, pats on the arm or the little negotiations over who will do this or that…suddenly, they’re missing. It’s natural and appropriate that you should grieve both these seemingly minor losses as well as the great loss of your spouse.Because your spouse was a daily presence, you may find yourself preoccupied with thoughts and dreams of them. You may look for him or her in a crowd, or be sure that you just saw your spouse out of the corner of your eye. Some people keep re-experiencing the circumstances or events around their partner’s death. Others find themselves sticking to old routines: setting the table for two, reading something and turning to tell their spouse about it, picking up the phone to call him or her. All of this is natural and expected. Loneliness is one of the biggest challenges Because your spouse or partner was such a major part of your daily life, their loss is usually felt more immediately and for a longer length of time. Regardless of the tenure of your marriage or relationship, this is the person you made long-term plans with and chose to spend your life with. You valued their unique qualities, their humor or charm, their intellect, kindness or strength, and no one will ever take his or her place. As acute as your loss feels now, being alone doesn’t mean a lifetime of loneliness. It may be tempting to isolate yourself at this time, but reaching out to others for support is critical. © 2012 HealGrief.org
Posted on: Mon, 13 Oct 2014 13:28:39 +0000
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