Warning: I apologize for how long this is haha :) So, not many people know about this part of my story but Im going to get really personal with this post.. Only because I know whats its like to struggle and so many girls do, so if you can be helped by my story then I want you to know. I havent heard this song in a couple years but hearing it last night on my way home from work brought back so much of my past. I know that body image, beauty, worth or being good enough etc. is something many girls have struggled or are struggling with. So, I wanted to share a little of my story. When I was twelve years old, bad body image started for me, I remember having this measuring tape and thinking at 85, 90lbs I was so fat and I wasnt worthy unless I was a certain way- The certain way the world wanted me to be. The way I thought EVERYONE else was. So, at 12, I would take the measuring tape or weigh myself and when my mom wasnt looking, I would measure my stomach, my arms, legs. If I didnt like the number, I would skip dinner/lunch or any type of food and measure myself after then, look at my round baby face to see if I was thinner or more beautiful. Progress a few years and at 15-16. I still didnt think I was good enough. I didnt think healthy looking or healthy was good enough. I became scared of food and I would starve myself, run 4+ miles or workout for hours... It became an addictive mental sickness for me. I was constantly comparing myself to others. I tried to find my worth in God; my beauty and seek Him (I really did) and I would do great for a couple weeks but I would fall back again with life. I was looking for perfection in myself, which is something non of us can attain. Then, at 17 almost 18- After starving myself and how certain things were going in my life, I went into binging, I would emotionally eat because I needed to feel like I had a handle on things and eating was my way. But with my past and the way I felt, I would feel sooooo guilty and try to workout until like 2 in the morning in my room to make up for what I just did. No one really knew the vicious cycle. I felt almost hopeless. I had a wonderful life, amazing parents, great family but in myself I was struggling in little and big ways with this. It was so real to me and not anyone else but me was doing it to myself. I was choosing the worlds way and making myself feel this way. I remember listening to this song and blasting it as loud as I possibly could and sobbing because I related to it so much. It spoke to me. I was hearing truth. I would cry because I didnt think I was a certain way. I would struggle because the way I thought I was supposed to be wasnt the way I thought I was. I would feel this way because I, myself, not anyone but me, was allowing the world...and my mirror- to define me- To define who I was and define who I would be and how I would feel. Girls hear me. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, WHAT YOU CAN DO OR WHAT/ WHO THE WORLD SAYS YOU ARE. It took me a long, long time to figure this out. But I have overcame/know that now. And now I can share my story and my struggles. Yes, its easy to get caught up in that sometimes but I made it. Im healthy, happy and free from those struggles now :) Its not that it cant creep back up, but now I know (by Gods mercy, strength and grace) who I am. You hear this all the time and it may sound cliche but...You have to remember who God says you are and who you are. You were made a unique and beautiful masterpiece. Song of Solomon 5:7 You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Again, you can hear this a million times (I for sure did) but unless YOU, yourself believe that God says you are beautiful, also, you actually push everything aside, believe in yourself and be confident- you wont break through. You have to believe that you are precious and There is only one YOU :) Dont let the way you think you should be, what the world/ people say or your mirror define who you are. Some of the words in this song goes like this. Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it? Cause Mirror youve always told me who I am. Im finding its not easy to be perfect. So sorry you wont define me. Sorry you dont own me. Who are you to tell me, That Im less than what I should be Who are you? Who are you? I dont need to listen. To the list of things I should do. I wont try, I wont try. YOU are beautiful and you are so treasured. Just. As. You. Are. Warning: I apologize for how long this is haha :) So, not many people know about this part of my story but Im going to get really personal with this post.. Only because I know whats its like to struggle and so many girls do, so if you can be helped by my story then I want you to know. I havent heard this song in a couple years but hearing it last night on my way home from work brought back so much of my past. I know that body image, beauty, worth or being good enough etc. is something many girls have struggled or are struggling with. So, I wanted to share a little of my story. When I was twelve years old, bad body image started for me, I remember having this measuring tape and thinking at 85, 90lbs I was so fat and I wasnt worthy unless I was a certain way- The certain way the world wanted me to be. The way I thought EVERYONE else was. So, at 12, I would take the measuring tape or weigh myself and when my mom wasnt looking, I would measure my stomach, my arms, legs. If I didnt like the number, I would skip dinner/lunch or any type of food and measure myself after then, look at my round baby face to see if I was thinner or more beautiful. Progress a few years and at 15-16. I still didnt think I was good enough. I didnt think healthy looking or healthy was good enough. I became scared of food and I would starve myself, run 4+ miles or workout for hours... It became an addictive mental sickness for me. I was constantly comparing myself to others. I tried to find my worth in God; my beauty and seek Him (I really did) and I would do great for a couple weeks but I would fall back again with life. I was looking for perfection in myself, which is something non of us can attain. Then, at 17 almost 18- After starving myself and how certain things were going in my life, I went into binging, I would emotionally eat because I needed to feel like I had a handle on things and eating was my way. But with my past and the way I felt, I would feel sooooo guilty and try to workout until like 2 in the morning in my room to make up for what I just did. No one really knew the vicious cycle. I felt almost hopeless. I had a wonderful life, amazing parents, great family but in myself I was struggling in little and big ways with this. It was so real to me and not anyone else but me was doing it to myself. I was choosing the worlds way and making myself feel this way. I remember listening to this song and blasting it as loud as I possibly could and sobbing because I related to it so much. It spoke to me. I was hearing truth. I would cry because I didnt think I was a certain way. I would struggle because the way I thought I was supposed to be wasnt the way I thought I was. I would feel this way because I, myself, not anyone but me, was allowing the world...and my mirror- to define me- To define who I was and define who I would be and how I would feel. Girls hear me. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, WHAT YOU CAN DO OR WHAT/ WHO THE WORLD SAYS YOU ARE. It took me a long, long time to figure this out. But I have overcame/know that now. And now I can share my story and my struggles. Yes, its easy to get caught up in that sometimes but I made it. Im healthy, happy and free from those struggles now :) Its not that it cant creep back up, but now I know (by Gods mercy, strength and grace) who I am. You hear this all the time and it may sound cliche but...You have to remember who God says you are and who you are. You were made a unique and beautiful masterpiece. Song of Solomon 5:7 You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Again, you can hear this a million times (I for sure did) but unless YOU, yourself believe that God says you are beautiful, also, you actually push everything aside, believe in yourself and be confident- you wont break through. You have to believe that you are precious and There is only one YOU :) Dont let the way you think you should be, what the world/ people say or your mirror define who you are. Some of the words in this song goes like this. Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it? Cause Mirror youve always told me who I am. Im finding its not easy to be perfect. So sorry you wont define me. Sorry you dont own me. Who are you to tell me, That Im less than what I should be Who are you? Who are you? I dont need to listen. To the list of things I should do. I wont try, I wont try. YOU are beautiful and you are so treasured. Just. As. You. Are. Warning: I apologize for how long this is haha :) So, not many people know about this part of my story but Im going to get really personal with this post.. Only because I know whats its like to struggle and so many girls do, so if you can be helped by my story then I want you to know. I havent heard this song in a couple years but hearing it last night on my way home from work brought back so much of my past. I know that body image, beauty, worth or being good enough etc. is something many girls have struggled or are struggling with. So, I wanted to share a little of my story. When I was twelve years old, bad body image started for me, I remember having this measuring tape and thinking at 85, 90lbs I was so fat and I wasnt worthy unless I was a certain way- The certain way the world wanted me to be. The way I thought EVERYONE else was. So, at 12, I would take the measuring tape or weigh myself and when my mom wasnt looking, I would measure my stomach, my arms, legs. If I didnt like the number, I would skip dinner/lunch or any type of food and measure myself after then, look at my round baby face to see if I was thinner or more beautiful. Progress a few years and at 15-16. I still didnt think I was good enough. I didnt think healthy looking or healthy was good enough. I became scared of food and I would starve myself, run 4+ miles or workout for hours... It became an addictive mental sickness for me. I was constantly comparing myself to others. I tried to find my worth in God; my beauty and seek Him (I really did) and I would do great for a couple weeks but I would fall back again with life. I was looking for perfection in myself, which is something non of us can attain. Then, at 17 almost 18- After starving myself and how certain things were going in my life, I went into binging, I would emotionally eat because I needed to feel like I had a handle on things and eating was my way. But with my past and the way I felt, I would feel sooooo guilty and try to workout until like 2 in the morning in my room to make up for what I just did. No one really knew the vicious cycle. I felt almost hopeless. I had a wonderful life, amazing parents, great family but in myself I was struggling in little and big ways with this. It was so real to me and not anyone else but me was doing it to myself. I was choosing the worlds way and making myself feel this way. I remember listening to this song and blasting it as loud as I possibly could and sobbing because I related to it so much. It spoke to me. I was hearing truth. I would cry because I didnt think I was a certain way. I would struggle because the way I thought I was supposed to be wasnt the way I thought I was. I would feel this way because I, myself, not anyone but me, was allowing the world...and my mirror- to define me- To define who I was and define who I would be and how I would feel. Girls hear me. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, WHAT YOU CAN DO OR WHAT/ WHO THE WORLD SAYS YOU ARE. It took me a long, long time to figure this out. But I have overcame/know that now. And now I can share my story and my struggles. Yes, its easy to get caught up in that sometimes but I made it. Im healthy, happy and free from those struggles now :) Its not that it cant creep back up, but now I know (by Gods mercy, strength and grace) who I am. You hear this all the time and it may sound cliche but...You have to remember who God says you are and who you are. You were made a unique and beautiful masterpiece. Song of Solomon 5:7 You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Again, you can hear this a million times (I for sure did) but unless YOU, yourself believe that God says you are beautiful, also, you actually push everything aside, believe in yourself and be confident- you wont break through. You have to believe that you are precious and There is only one YOU :) Dont let the way you think you should be, what the world/ people say or your mirror define who you are. Some of the words in this song goes like this. Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it? Cause Mirror youve always told me who I am. Im finding its not easy to be perfect. So sorry you wont define me. Sorry you dont own me. Who are you to tell me, That Im less than what I should be Who are you? Who are you? I dont need to listen. To the list of things I should do. I wont try, I wont try. YOU are beautiful and you are so treasured. Just. As. You. Are.
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 19:38:58 +0000
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