(Warning: rage-fueled sarcastic Facebook post ahead.) Dear 99, Dont listen to Prudence here. Youre absolutely right. These kids should be ashamed of themselves for having been born poor, but even that can be overlooked if not for the parents having the nerve - the nerve, 99! - to want their poor children to have a moment of happiness. Anyone whos ANYONE knows that poor people arent allowed to be happy, because then they might start to get uppity and think theyre people, and then where would we be? Wed be living in a world where all poor people would expect that a holiday where strangers give out candy is THEIR holiday too, and then theyll all start expecting the artisinal paleo organic imported Franco-Belgian chocolat that you reserve for real peoples children, instead of the slime-coated feces that their parents have to tell them is candy. We need to put an immediate stop to this, 99. Its your right - nay, your civic duty - to ensure that these children are properly taken care of before their poverty spreads, like ebola, until were all throwing up our own organs in a gutter while the police beat us with our own Will Work For Food signs. So heres the plan: rat poison. No, razor blades. Razor blades coated in rat poison. Youll be doing them a favor, really, 99. Because you know what could happen if these urchins, leeching off anyone and everyone they can, getting by on Social Security and food stamps, are given a chance to survive and thrive? One of them could turn into an otherwise productive member of society who reads an article about your disdain for these children and writes a rage-fueled sarcastic Facebook post about it. Best of luck, 99. Keep fighting the good fight. - I Can Afford My Own Slime-Covered Feces Now
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 15:46:52 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015