Warning, you may not want to read this.. it will hurt if you have a heart. This is an ugly truth for people who dont suffer from mental health conditions and likely dont believe they exist. Im sorry in advance if I offend anyone. Imagine: Another day you tell yourself to smile and maybe it wont hurt. You go out and its 90+ and you barely notice becuase of the emptiness inside. Then moments later you notice that the smile just isnt cutting it, so you do a little silly dance - others laugh, but it seems hollow- empty. It barely helps to see them smile. You joke around and play along, knowing all the right words to make them laugh and the expressions to use to get that spark in their eyes. You reach for that spark, but only ever see it, never experiencing it for yourself. Sure you laugh and feel happy, but by nightfall you are still all alone inside. The darkness closes in and you are left in the void. Even that light of God feels too good for someone who cant even feel happy right. You try and try. But all the positive thinking in the word and love of an omnipresent being isnt able to stop the ache for true connection. And the void just gets worse and worse.. until one day you just cant take it anymore. You are gasping and grasping for something, Anything to make it better, but still... there is nothing working . And God does it hurt just to even blink or breathe. This is a glimpse into depression. It can be a deficiency or defect, but either way its so hard to control even medication and counseling isnt enough. The brain is literally incapable to stop the emotional pain because it wont produce the right stuff to make it all better.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 03:56:19 +0000
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