We broke up on 10th January 2011. Ever since my heart felt nothing - TopicsExpress



          

We broke up on 10th January 2011. Ever since my heart felt nothing other than loneliness and regrets. I could still remember every small details about you, about us. When we first met, I was 13 and you were 15. It was CCA orientation day, along with other secondary one students, we were ushered into the band room by the senior. The moment you saw us stepped into the room, you stopped playing your tuba which was shining so brilliantly and came over to attend to us. You toured us around the band room and let us try out various instruments and cracked jokes to liven up the tense atmosphere. I was mesmerized by your killer smile and the way you took care of the juniors. I decided to join the band as an euphonium player so that I could see you more often. Time flies and it was almost a year I joined band. We went to Thailand for an exchange programme to learn from the students there. I could never forget the nights we spent there. We stayed in a hotel in Bangkok and I shared and room with our section leader, Sherman and you. On the first night, I had a horrible nightmare that I broke out in cold sweat. I guess I had wake you up with my screams earlier on and you came over and sat on my bed, Whats wrong? Did you have a nightmare? I blushed, didnt know what should I say so I just nodded my head. You then lay beside me and hugged me in your arms, Dont need to be scared all right? Senior is always here to protect you. My heart skipped a beat and was pounding really hard against my chest. I guess I had fallen for you since then. I could still remember how rebellious I was as a junior band member, always skipping band practice to play basketball with my classmates. You were always standing before me, arguing with the band major to stop him from punishing me. People always teased us as a pair of love couple because I was following you wherever you go in school. It was kind of embarrassed but I was feeling happy deep inside. Just one month before you were preparing for your O-levels, you got attached with this girl from my class. I was crushed and jealous at that time, I wanted to forget about you but I couldnt. Until one month later I heard that that girl dumped you and got together with another guy in a leadership camp. I was determined to heal your heart and win it over. I would call you occasionally to chat with you, send SMS to cheer you up, invite you to my house for dinner and stay over. Until one fine day after dinner at my house, I could not hide my feelings any longer. I bought you to the sky garden and confessed my feelings to you. I was afraid that I was going to lose a friend or senior whom I admired for 2 years. You grabbed my hand and told me that you felt happy whenever we were together. We kissed for the first time. It was like a dream that came true. However, the good time didnt last. I was struggling to accept myself. I was born as a pastor son in a staunch Christian family. I wasnt able to accept myself and accept our relationship. I felt guilty and that I was going against Gods will. I guess all my negative emotions have drained all the happiness away from our relationship. It had made both of us really tired. Finally after 26 months together, you decided to let me go to follow Gods will. Ever since then I had never got attached. I could never forget our times together. Those times we spent in band, watching movie at my house, our Thailand and KL trip. And how you always protect me be it in school or at home from my violent mum. I could still remember my mum was enraged and she grabbed the TV remote control towards me. In a split second, you stood before me and shielded me with your body. Just like how you always do in band to protect me from our band major. Now youre happily attached with your new boyfriend for almost 2 years. I know that youre going through a tough time but I can do nothing much to cheer you up. I dont want to ruin your relationship. My only wish is for you to be happy. If only we didnt break up, I would be the one to heal your wounded heart like last time. As for now, I will do all I can as a friend to be there for you. I will continue waiting till the day we can be together again. - E.W
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 13:05:28 +0000

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