Weight will wear you down and will age you like nothing else. I was always fit (even after both my babies) and took it for granted, never realizing how the weight was creeping on nor how hard it was going to be to get it off. Life just kept on rolling. And I began to look back and have regrets, like not being able to play with the boys as they got older. I remember when Aaron was in middle school and was able to out tickle me or wrestle me down. The regrets and even shame kept piling up. Then I began to feel overwhelmed. The results were both the same: I didnt think I could fix the problem. The cycle kept repeating. Ive started and stopped several times on the road to fitness, each time Id go strong for a couple of months, only to allow myself to get off track. All the while, I would pray and ask God to help me get healthy. This IS our temple, yaknow. Meantime Im hearing start small, dont try to lose it all in a week, or a month. I realized that I was getting my answer. This time Ive been going strong for 5 months, and while I am having to work harder for the results, Im determined to better myself, to be an example to my sons of what NOT to allow as you get older. Im determined to be pleased with myself instead of ashamed of what I see in pictures. Im trying to regain some of that youth that I let slip away. Yes, Im still 43, and some days I feel it more than others. Im still overweight, but Im on a downhill run. I still have to make myself go some days here and thereve been 3 or 4 days when motivation was at a negative 20! Some days I still hate to look in the mirror, and picking out a dress for Easter made me cry in the dressing room. I have a long way to go and I expect it will be next year before Im truly where I want to be, because it isnt just about weight...I truly want to be fit and healthy, so Im working the total body. But I have prayed, and God is helping me. When my knee starting hurting, I walked in Jesus name! When I need motivation, I remember all the times Ive prayed and how Jesus has sent me health, even if its in the form of Him dangling it in front of the elliptical like a big ol bowl of ice cream, and making me run for it, working it out in sweat equity, seeing how much I want it. And I want it! And He keeps me going! I dont believe this is just about my body, but I believe it is about something deeper. Working my body is motivating me to work out my spiritual life because slack doesnt just affect one area...it is contagious! In a strange/unexplainable way, I believe God has anointed me to be doing what Im doing, and others have said Ive inspired them. We are guilty of thinking its all up to God to take of this body, but I think sometimes divine healing could involve divine discipline. I normally wouldnt even talk about this because if I fail, nobody would know, but I have taken a leap of faith and put this out there for the last few months because I NEED accountability. I need all yall watching my progress, not to criticize, just to help keep me going, and help prove myself. Im so inspired by Samuel Aaron Scott Steinel who works himself and takes pride in his body and fitness level. Im inspired Christian Wise who can run so well! And it is SUCH a bonding experience for me and Jeff to do this together. Above all, I thank Jesus because I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me!
Posted on: Sun, 18 May 2014 02:42:13 +0000
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