Well dudes and babes, it’s the season of holidays. Additionally, we are living in a moment made distinct by the state sanctioned murder of black Americans and fifteen other ways for the world to end, all racing for the finish line, neck in neck. What I’m getting around to is the acknowledgement that on this and coming days, many human beings are nearly drowning in despair. One emotional byproduct of living through the holidays as well as this uniquely devastating era, for me at least, is feeling excessively vulnerable to both crippling sadness and also grace. Yesterday I walked through ten seconds of time on 15th avenue and I walked past a father tenderly wiping tears from his son’s face, a junkie with a sign begging for compassion, a cross eyed happy idiot dog, and a mother zooming a giggling fat baby through the air. It was a ruthless sensory assault; I could do nothing but lean into it and weep because for half a block, everything was redeemed. Anyway, I have a suggestion for us. Please do a brain exercise I just invented. Ok, think about some things that you feel really guilty about. Let the guilt fill your body. owwww Now, ask yourself how much of the time your mood is compromised by experiencing some level of guilt, whether its latent and old or specific and current. Now, this is the important part: reflect on what the things you feel guilty about suggest about your values. Also, is this guilt self-imposed or did some person or institution force you to eat that that shit sandwich of a feeling many years ago? Ok, NOW, unless you are feeling guilty about being unkind to yourself or discompassionate towards other people, please stop feeling guilty about whatever other stupid shit you are feeling guilty about. Youre fine. Guilt is a dangerous emotion and too many of us have been taught to confuse it with integrity. If you’re not careful, guilt will control your behavior in a very disorienting way; you may inadvertently construct a life out of make up calls. You may never understand the things that happen to you. Ok. Do you know what I mean? I am pretty full of shit. For example discompassionate is not actually a word. Sigh. Anyway, please keep your head up the next few days. If you stay awake long enough, you will probably either hear a song you like, eat a cool food, have an orgasm, or kiss a dog, or go back to sleep, and if you can’t find any of that please call the King County Crisis Clinic at (206)461-3222.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 22:22:28 +0000