Well, here is just a little before 4am as I begin writing this and I am thinking how am I going to write this without sounding pitiful to some of you. My bone marrow biopsy result yesterday afternoon was not good. This cancer has not only gone to my bones but also to my bone marrow to which my oncologist said was highly unusual. I asked him what my prognosis was and he answered, guarded to which my youngest daughter Jill asked, what is guarded? He turned to her and said, not good. Now me and Dr. Google Internet already knew this since I have googled the internet over and over to find the results to the what ifs in all my tests. Next comes another brain MRI to rule in or out the possible cause of my constant headache. Praying it rules out the possibility of it also being found there. My doctor now wants me to have the gene test to see if my daughters are at risk at having this disease but so far I have failed every test up to now but this gene test is one I want to win for my daughters and sisters sakes. Now as I try to get through all this new information so that God can show me the way that He intends to use this in me I must confess that I have just about cried myself out of tears...Still struggling to get to that place of peace God has for me and then to be able to stay there. I am sharing all this because my journey it is meant for one of you......my life influencing your life. I pray you get it and my testimony will not have fallen on deaf ears. Life changes for some while it goes on without a hitch for others and that is the hardest thing for those of us who are journeying on the opposite side of normal are experiencing. Knowing my life will not be as long as I had hoped for, I will get on with living it as long as God gives me breath. Truth is that we are all dying from the minute we are born but some of us are given more of an urgency to soak up Gods wonderful gifts of a loving family and friends and the beauty of this beautiful earth. I love Him for giving me the realization that I will not be here forever and that I need to get busy with His work! Taking a deep breath and moving forward as I follow the treatment plan my doctor and the Great Physician places before me. God did not make me pitiful He made me powerful...now to get my coffee and then to get ready for work, life goes on.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 08:38:28 +0000
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