Well yesterday was my first holiday without Crystal and I didnt handle it well. There was a lot of people here and I did cook but then I took my daughters urn down and put it in the bedroom got the photos that I have not been able to go through and the CD that they made for my daughters funeral and just sat in the room watching it and crying a lot and talking to her and putting the photos in a book for her and just simply loosing it. I did not handle it well at all. I missed her more yesterday because holidays were always a big deal for her and she would try to help me in the kitchen and attempt to help cook without burning it but she always did she always burned the rolls and stuffing but that didnt matter to me we would eat it anyway. I know that my daughter is with her beloved grandparents and they are taking care of her but it still hurts that she is not here with me where she belongs. She shouldnt be in a box she was too young I miss her so much. I have this large empty hole in my heart where she use to be and not matter what I do and how much time passes by it hurts more everyday I long to be with her everyday. I just dont think I could handle anymore Christmas is coming next that was here favorite holiday because it was also our anniversary of the day that I got custody of her it would have been our 13th anniversary but instead I have nothing Im just empty and alone and it hurts. I would do anything just to have her back.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Nov 2013 21:31:08 +0000
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