Were not very good at knowing the difference between helpfulness and interference! Suppose two people we care about are in conflict. We think we can be the Red Cross and salvage things. Ultimately, with our good intentions in ruins, were in over our heads. Looking back, we say, Ill never do that again - until the next time! Here are some healthy relationship boundaries. Sometimes when two people are at odds with each other they triangle in a third person to focus on, attempting to lower their stress. Whoever they triangle in gets caught in the middle, becomes entangled in their unresolved issue, and ultimately becomes their shock absorber. Unfortunately, when that persons rescue attempt backfires they become part of the problem, keeping the issues and themselves stuck. So what should you do? (1) Unless God puts you in the middle, stay out! The Bible says, ...mind your own business... (1 Thessalonians 4:11 GNT) If your names not on it, dont pick it up! Try saying, I care about you both too much to complicate things with unqualified advice. Ill pray that God gives you the wisdom to do whats right for each other. (2) Maintain a caring relationship with both people. Relationship specialist, Edwin Friedman, says, The way to bring change to the relationship of two others is to maintain a well-defined relationship with each, and avoid taking responsibility for their relationship. Dont take sides. Dont let them pull you in. If they try, remind them that youre praying and trusting God to help them resolve the problem, and that youre confident He will do it.
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 03:35:12 +0000