What is fear? In Websters dictionary fear is a noun defined as; an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Growing up as a child we where told who are the good people and who are the bad. We where told who will protect us and who wont. And we where also told who to fear and who we shouldnt fear. Police, firefighters, nurses and doctors, where all the people I was told to run to.Drug dealers and gang members where the people I was told to run away from. So today, on December 1, 2014 as I was being pulled over, the word FEAR to me took on an entirely new meaning. At a stop and go light my phone feel onto my passenger side floor. As I reached to pick it up the light turned green, I proceeded to put my foot on the gas as I reached for my phone. As I began to feel my car drift I swerved really fast to prevent from hitting the curb. A police car no less than 100 yards away from me pulled in behind me after this and flashed his lights for me to pull over. This is were my new found respect for fear kicked in. Why is it when I was getting pulled over I began to feel my heart rate speed up, I could see my hands shaking, and I gave off that unwanted sigh that we give when the shit is about to hit the fan. My fear wasnt because I hit anyone, or because I had traffic warrants, or out dated stickers, or because my license was suspended. I was afraid because two white cops got out of there squad car for a simple traffic stop instead of just one. They didnt get out with their hands to there side, but on their fire arms. When asked why I cut my car off and why my keys where on the dash board, I replied You watch the news officer. While waiting 32 minutes for them to check my information, my Fear wasnt that they would find something I new I didnt have, but If I was going to be the next black man to be killed by a white cop. So what happened to run to the Good guy? What happen to this is the person who will protect you?What happen to Im here to make sure I have someone to look up to? And why am I so afraid knowing you have no reason to kill me, and I feel like you will. I was raised not to Fear a human being. But when my father asked me why I had so much Fear I said, not because I got pulled over, and not because of the cop, it was because of the guns they gripped so closely as one approached my back passenger door and the other walked up to my window. This lets you know how real it is. This lets you know that the Fear of the situation will change us all for the worse...and not for the better. Was I wrong for reaching for my phone which I had done so many times before, sure I was. But that was absolutely with out a doubt not a reason for me to wait 32 minutes and think that I was going to be gunned down in the street.#ImOffMySoapBox#TakeThisHowYouWant
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 03:22:39 +0000
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