What is the shortest sentence in the English language? I am. What is the longest sentence? I do. Marriage is like a deck of cards. It starts with two hearts and a diamond - and too often ends looking for a club and a spade. Did you ever wonder why there are so many jokes about marriage? There are jokes because the disharmony in marriage is ridiculous - that the relationship with the one person one chose to build a life of happiness and meaning has devolved into a source of pain, agony and distress. This week I would like to share how to relieve some of the stress in marriage by preventing arguments. The first Rule of Marital Happiness: Dont argue. It takes two to fight. If you dont argue back, if you answer in a soft voice (A gentle answer turns away anger - Proverbs 15:1), then you wont have fights. People think that they have to respond to invectives -often, either to defend themselves or as a psychological necessity to return hurt. It is important to keep focused on the goal - to stay happily married and build a life together. That was the goal when they got married and it should still be the goal. There are strategies to minimize fights and minimize the impact of the slings of barbs and arrows. THREE STRATEGIES TO PREVENT ARGUMENTS 1) AGREE! If the person insulting you is right, agree. You cant argue with someone who agrees with you. 2) TAKE IT TO THE BANK! Why do we respond to negative remarks from a spouse (or from anyone)? We feel that the insult diminishes us, cuts us down, makes us less. Piece by piece we are reduced to a pile of rubble - so we respond in defense of our existence, often with anger and our own accusations. What if someone would give you 10,000 dollars every time you were insulted? Imagine a thick stack of 100 dollar bills with a rubber band around them being placed into your safety deposit box with every insult. It certainly would take the sting out of the insults! 3) INSANITY! We marry someone because we love them, because we want to stay married to them, because we want to build a life together. Who should be the last person you insult on this earth? Your spouse! To insult your spouse is insane. Dont be insane! And if your spouse insults you, dont take it seriously.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 23:15:00 +0000
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