What spells love to a wife? To illustrate this point, Dr. Eggerich used the word “COUPLE” an acronym. C – Closeness. A wife feels loved when a husband is close. She wants to be with her husband face to face. O – Openness. When a husband isn’t secretly mad at her. A wife feels very unloved when her husband appears mad at her, closes her out and refuses to open up. The message that is sent is “I’m angrily stonewalling to teach you to treat me more respectfully,” and that message rarely gets through. Instead she feels unloved and misses the signal that her husband is trying to send. U – Understanding. When a husband empathizes with her. Like a teapot that comes to a boiling point, a wife can experience an emotional overload and need to ventilate to someone who empathizes. Solutions not required:) P – Peacemaking. When a husband resolves and reconciles with her. “Will you forgive me” are powerful words. Over the course of a marriage after conflict imagine the benefits of each owning up to their guilt by saying “That felt unloving…will you forgive me?” L – Loyalty. When a husband is completely committed to her. When a wife asks “Do you love me?” what she is asking for is reassurance, not information. E – Esteem. When a husband treasures her above all others. We talked about how women have a different point system than husbands when it comes to this point. What may seem like an insignificant action could be a very big deal to the wife. A few questions for the Husbands: - Am I willing to act more loving by being close face to face? - Will I ask my wife “Do you need a solution or a listening ear?” - Will I reassure my wife that I am committed to her, and will stop hurtful teasing? A few final questions for the Wives: - Am I willing to accept my husband’s actions at face value. For instance, when my husband acts more loving by being closer, I am not going to say “You are just doing that to look good in front of other people” - Am I willing to be more forgiving of my husband by realizing that when he wants to “drop it” that this can be an honorable request. -Am I willing to be more confident in my relationship with my husband. For instance, I will not say to my husband “I know you want to divorce me” as a way of getting him to reassure me that he loves me. "LOVE & RESPECT"
Posted on: Thu, 06 Jun 2013 06:39:22 +0000
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