When God Made Truck Drivers When the Lord was creating Truck Drivers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an Angel appeared and said, Youre doing a lot of fiddling around on this one. And the Lord said, Have you read the spec on this order? A truck driver has to be able to drive 12-14 hours per day, through any type of weather, on any type of road, know the traffic laws of 6 States and 2 Territories, he has to be ready and able to unload 30 ton of cargo after driving thru the night, sleep in areas of Cities, Towns & roadside parking bays that the Police refuse to patrol. “He has to be able to live in his truck 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for weeks on end, offer first aid and assistance to his fellow Brothers, meet just-in-time schedules, and still maintain an even and controlled composure when all around him appear to have gone mad. “He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals, and he has to have six pairs of hands. The Angel shook her head slowly and said, SIX pairs of hands? No way! “Its not the hands that are causing me problems, said the Lord, its the three pairs of eyes a truck driver needs to have. Thats on the standard model? asked the Angel. The Lord nodded. “One pair of eyes needs to be alert for that pack of Roos that are grazing beside the road 2 kilometres away. Another pair here in the side of his head for the blind spots that motorists love to hide in; and another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at the bleeding victim of a car accident that he was the first to arrive at, and say, Youll be all right maam, when he knows deep down that it isnt so. Lord, said the Angel as she touched his sleeve, rest and work on this tomorrow. I cant, said the Lord, I already have a model that can drive 1 000 kilometres a day, without incident and can raise a family of five without ever seeing them, on 34 cents a kilometre. The Angel circled the model of the truck driver very slowly, Can it think? she asked. You bet, said the Lord. It can tell you the safety regulations for every HAZMAT load; recite every rule regarding log book hours & fatigue management; State & Federal regulations regarding registration on their truck; deliver; pickup; offer timely advice to strangers; keep an eye out for missing children & hitch-hikers; defend a womans honor or childrens rights; get 2-3 hours of good rest during odd hours; be a father & raise a family of Law abiding & respectful children, without ever being at home; recite every word of the Jimmy Barnes song Driving Wheels ….....and STILL keep his sense of humor. This driver also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with delivery and pickup areas at depots created from scenes painted in hell; coax a forkie to actually work for his money; comfort an accident victims family........and then read in the daily paper how truck drivers are nothing more than killers on wheels and have no respect for the rights of others while using the nations highways. Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the driver. Theres a leak, she pronounced. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model. Thats not a leak, said the Lord, Its a tear. Whats the tear for? asked the Angel. Its for bottled-up emotions; for fallen Brothers of the road; for buggar all pay, recognition & better working conditions; for practically no social life outside of chatting on the UHF or mobile; for getting there, through sheer frustration....only to turn around and do it again; and for the family without its father. Youre a genius! said the Angel. The Lord looked somber. I didnt put it there. .
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 03:50:00 +0000
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