When you wake up and just want to cry! You know what to do!! Get on your knees and cry!! God knows everything will be ok after a good cry!! Never give up on your self. Depression is just another tool the devil will use to control your life! My heart is broken and may never heal. But I know healing or no healing its all in Gods will for us. Tomorrow really is untouchable. Today is here so we will live each second as if its the last time we kiss, hold hands, hug, or just touch his face. No one knows the day or hour when we go home to meet Jesus!! Our timeline is written but not for us to know! I will spend each day giving thanks for the days past and today!! One day at a time is all we ask for. Grateful for waking up this morning and my bubbie right here by me!! God will never put more on us then we can bare. I hold on to this! God must love me greatly. I have had some ruff storms in my life. Ex husbands and THIER families, divorces, kids, step kids! Life!! I have made some wrong choices in my life but God held my hand as I prayed and made it. But this is something we can not fix or change. No law, money, no fixing. How can you be strong all the time when you just want to cry. Be strong for him. Be strong for your family. I just want to fall apart and stay in bed forever. Wake me from this nightmare. Watching my beautiful husband being so strong but yet his body is so weak. He says GODS GOING TO HEAL ME!! And with all his heart he believes this!! I want this more then anything. Healing!! Does it make me a bad person I dont cry I hold it in so he cant see the tears my heart is crying. I have faith but I have fear too. Can the 2 live in the same heart and be faithful and true. I pray. And then I cry. I cry and start praying. How do you control the pain your heart feels. Is there a way? I am not strong. I have a strong family!! My mom daddy sisters! They are my strength right now! Cas lets me cry. Time heals all wounds. I have one day at a time. I pray I make the most out of each day we have. One, two, or a hundred one days at a time!! I am blessed to know God, to know His mercy. To know real love from one man, my bubbie. I am blessed. Tears may keep falling but I will not fail at this journey of faith, family and endless hope!!! We all keep praying Gods will and healing!! God knows us! He hears us!!!
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 11:36:18 +0000
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