Where do I even begin... Its been one year since my soul mate and best friends life was, literately, put on hold. And even at times it feels like my life has been put on hold. I remember my dad calling me at 5:45am to come answer my door and my first thought was my grandfather, but it only took him saying Dennis Crowes name for me to realize that my whole world was over as I knew it. Im so very thankful and beyond grateful for the days he continues to breathe and progress because I dont know what Id do if he wasnt physically on this earth. I spend my days putting on a very brave face, as if nothing is wrong, but deep down everything is wrong. Ask me how Im feeling and youll be sure to see the tears well up in my eyes. My life as I knew it and thought it isnt what it will be, but I hold onto hope for what it could be. I know many think Im strong, brave, and patient, but really those are all traits Ive learned over the last year. Because you dont know how strong, brave, and patient you really are until thats all you can do. I may have had a hint of them in my characteristics, but nothing like they are now. Ive had to endure a lot, a lot that a 22 year old (at the time) and now 23, almost 24, should NEVER EVER have to deal with. I certainly dont wish this pain, fear, and unknown on my worst enemy (some may chuckle at that remark and for good reasons, but I truly mean it). All I want and have ever wanted is to be with and support Dennis and no matter what angles or motives people think I have they all lead to just loving Dennis unconditionally. As difficult of a life it would be, I would do anything and give up everything just to live a full new normal and happy life with him. I cant, couldnt, and wont imagine my life without him. I love and miss Dennis more and more each day and a lot of that miss is contributed to not being allowed to see him anymore, which is coming close to almost 4 months. Remember, living with tragedy doesnt get easier, you just learn to function and live with it. Thank you to everyone who have showed/shared their support and prayers over the last year. I ask that you continue because I couldnt do this with out you all. I thank the family I have and the family Ive gained through this tragedy because youve all made it possible for me to keep my head held high. P.S. - This was the first song that came on my Pandora this morning, which I find in an ironic way very perfect for today. Also, feel free to read this blog post (networkedblogs/UJZwA), which tells a great story of how Dennis and I became the couple we are.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 15:04:23 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015