While celebrating Eid al-Adha we remember the ultimate trial faced by Prophet Ibrahim (alaihi salam) who had a dream in which he was ordered to sacrifice his son. We all know the story well; as Ibrahim (alaihi salam) was ready to slaughter young Ismail (alaihi salam) Allah (subhanahu wa ta’la) called upon him and saved the boy, sending a sheep to be sacrificed instead. We often ponder over Ibrahim’s (alaihi salam) heartbreaking dilemma and over Ismail’s (alaihi salam) astonishing courage and obedience, yet there is still another important person in this history, albeit often unnamed and forgotten. It is Ismail’s mother Hajar, who raised her son to have a steadfast belief in Allah (subhanahu wata’la). Motherhood in itself is a great trial but for Hajar (alaihi salam) things were extraordinarilyhard. Just shortly after giving birth to her son she had to leave her household and move to a barren valley, where her husband left her with just a handful of dates and a limited amount of water. This would be enough to break the spirit of many but as Hajar called after the departing Ibrahim (alaihi salam), O Ibrahim! To whom are you leaving us? she received the reply, I am leaving you to Allahs care, and this was enough to settle her fears so she replied, I am satisfied to be with Allah. (Bukhari 55:584) How strong her faith must have been if she was ready to obey Allah (subhanahu wa ta’la) and her husband against all odds. It was her taqwa and reliance on Allah alone that enabled her to overcome all the difficulties and not lose faith, even when faced with the hardest of trials and it is this attitude that she should be admired for the most and which could be a source of solace and motivation for any Muslimah going through a difficult ordeal. Because of her deep faith, Hajar accepted with forbearance that she was left alone to care for her child in an apparently uninhabitable land. Soon the water skin that she was left with was empty and she couldn’t find water to satisfy her baby son’s thirst. In her desperation she started running between the hills of Safa and Marwa to find some source of water and finally she found a spring miraculously gushing forth from near her child’s feet. It was Angel Jibril (alaihi salam) sent by Allah (subhan wa ta’la) to aid His obedient servant. Bizn Allah, Jibril made the spring of ZamZam spurt from the rocks in this barren land to satisfy the thirst of the pious mother and her noble son. The gushing spring attracted other people to settle in the valley of Makkah and living in this community Hajar raised her son until he reached the age of puberty. She was not alone anymore but just imagine what she must have felt, living all those years by herself, without a husband at her side to aid her and to give her company and comfort. In her son, Ismail (alaihi salam) we find proof of her perseverance and strength because by the grace of Allah, he grew up to be a man of firm faith. It was just after he reached maturity and got married to a woman from the settlers in Makkah, that his father Ibrahim (alaihi salam) embarked on a long journey to visit him and once they met, Ismail (alaihi salam) was ready to obey his father’s orders and help him rebuild the Kabaah. There was no bitterness in him towards his father whom he hadn’t known throughout his childhood and this is yet more proof of Hajar’s greatness, because she hadn’t poisoned the memory of the father when speaking of him to her son. She was patient and remained faithful, even though she was deprived of the joys of family life for many long years and she had to raise her son as a single mother, doing what is probably the most difficult job on earth. Imagine we see Hajar’s life story re-enacted in a modern setting; a young mother left to her own devices with her baby, in a foreign country without an apparent source of sustenance and then a husband returning after long years of separation being welcomed by his grown up son. We would feel pity for the woman and expect her to be depressed or angry or to need help. We would most likely feel sorry for her son and worry how she would ever be able to raise him alone to be a good man, without a father figure and a suitable male role model. Through extraordinary circumstances Hajar proved to be extraordinarilystrong but great difficulties and trials are not exclusive to the people of old. There are many Muslim women nowadays who carry the heavy burden of single motherhood, who lose their husband forever or who are separated from them for a long time. There are widows and divorced women, victims of domestic violence and happy wives who have lost their husbands too early in a battle with an illness or in a battle for the freedom of their land. There are women whose husbands are forced to work abroad, sometimes to make life easier and sometimes to simply survive; women left to believe in a good fate while their husbands endure low paid labour abroad while they wonder whether the better salary coming in to a joint bank account is really worth the anguish of separation.Thenthere are women single-handedlymanaging the household and raising the children, while only seeing their husbands in the early morning, before they leave for work and late at night, when they return exhausted; never mind whether the husbands work in factories or in the offices of multinational corporations.There are women whose husbands are simply too busy living their lives to pay attention to the needs of the family, beyond material demands. We may all feel lonely at times and left alone with our problems. It seems that it is for us that Allah (subhanahu wa ta’la) preserved the stories of the great heroines of Islam, like Hajar (alaihi salam). Her example continuously reminds us that we are never alone. Allah is always with us and He listens to our duas and helps us overcome our difficulties. It is not easy to be a single mother, or to be abandoned by our family when we need them most, yet Allah knows what is best for us and it is through building a deeper relationship with Him that we should find strength and solace. For many women, single motherhood is not the only trial. Lack of acknowledgementor support adds to the difficulties they are going through. Sadly, there are those whose hardships are multiplied by the attitude of society, which is not exactly a display of pity and sympathy. In many societies, especially where local culture and tradition have a greater influence on people than Islam and the tradition of the Prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam), single mothers and divorced women are shamed and ostracised. Instead of being given help and support, they are being mistreated and their integrity is questioned. In some cultures divorced women and even widows are refused the right to re-marry, even though the Mothers of the Believers, the wives of our Prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) were previously married and divorced or widowed. The anguish of Maryam (allahi salam) mother of Isa (allahi salam) as a single mother, without a husband in sight and with no father or brother to protect her from false accusations, is relived daily by many Muslimaat. What can we do about all this? Probably each of us knows of a sister who is a single mother, who may live on her own with just her children as company as Hajar (allahi salam) did, or who is facing loneliness in a crowded household of extended family. Let’s open our hearts to them and let us find more love and mercy for them. Let us exchange Eid greetings with them and maybe invite them over for a cup of tea and a friendly chat and let’s increase awareness among our ummah of the need to provide a support system for such sisters. May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’la) rid our hearts of suspicion, superstition and mistrust towards fellow believers and may we all have a blessed Eid ul Adha this year.
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 05:50:52 +0000
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