With today being the start of Migraine and Headache awareness month, I am sure you all will see many stories over the next 30 days. For those of you who dont know ...... here is mine: On January 28th, 2011 I was sitting on the couch with my wife. Yup, I was married back then. Beautiful woman, beautiful home, nice car, good job. I was living a very happy and successful life. On that Friday night, sitting on the couch, something happened inside my brain. If you know, you know..... and if you dont, there is no way I could ever explain it to you. I thought something busted in my head and I was bleeding. I was sure I was about to die. I had no idea pain like that was even possible. I grew up racing BMX bikes, being a soccer goalie, water skiing, barefooting, and kneeboarding. I had more than my share of self-inflicted headaches. I had even had the occasional migraine or 2 (thanks mom). I thought I knew what pain in the head was. I had no idea until that moment. Scared to death, my wife and I were frantic. I locked myself in a dark bathroom. My eyes were more sensitive than I ever thought possible. One side of my head was literally melting off. I could feel every single hair on the right side of my head. I couldnt breath through my mouth because it felt like I was inhaling straight fire. I couldnt breathe through my nose, because it hurt even worse. The pain made me vomit. I was nauseous. It lasted almost 2 hours and then went away just as fast as it had come on. We called my general doctor right away, but couldnt get an appointment until Monday, 2 days later. It happened again that night, and then 4 times the next day. By the time Sunday came around, I would spend 2 hours in the bathroom in the most severe pain you could ever imagine, and then an hour in a chair, shaking in fear, waiting for it to come back. During my trips to the bathroom those first couple of days, I managed to break the toilet seat, rip the towel holder off the wall, and tear the shower curtain down. I was a mess, and so was my sanctuary. I saw my doctor that Monday, and he had no answers. He referred me to another doctor, who referred me to another one. Over the next 59 days I saw 5 different doctors and was prescribed 12 different medications. It was always take these pills and come back in a few weeks ............. BULLSHIT. I didnt have a few weeks. There was no way I could get these people to know that I was in more pain than humanly possible. By some act of God, that 5th doctor mentioned the Headache and Facial pain division of the Cleveland Clinic. This was sincerely my last hope. My suicide was planned. My wife had seen enough of my suffering to know that this was no joke. We knew I was dying, and we just wanted to know why. We made it to Cleveland a few days later, and that was the day I first heard the words Cluster Headaches. My doctor, Dr. Stewart Tepper, knew what was wrong right away. I was prescribed oxygen and Imitrex injections that day, and my wife and I raced home to educate ourselves on this disease we had never heard of. By this time, it was too late. The damage had been done. I lost my wife, my job, my health insurance, and my home. I lost my dignity, my sanity, and now I was alone to deal with this demon in my head. Its been a long 3 years since that first attack. I have met some TRULY wonderful people because of this disease (I swear to God I have tears in my eyes right now) ..... sincerely .... these people saved my life, and continue to do so on a daily basis. Having a disease that is regarded as the most painful condition known to medical science, and aptly dubbed suicide headache, is not easy. Having an invisible disease is not easy. Sometimes I wish I had cancer. Sometimes I wish I was missing an arm or a leg ....... and sometimes I wish I was dead. BUT, I wake up everyday, and move on. It is now my life mission to make people aware of this brain disorder, and others like it. Thank God for my CH friends. Thank God for all the other wonderful people I have met on this wild and crazy journey. Thank God for June (its the start of my low/summer cycle), and Thank God for this awareness month.
Posted on: Sun, 01 Jun 2014 20:18:45 +0000
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