Yesterday, I lost the greatest father anyone could ever ask for! It doesent even sound right saying that! Every person that came In contact with him could laugh for hours! He could always turn a negative situation into something to laugh about. He changed the lives of even some of the biggest rock bands and tons of people everywere! If he walked into a gas station, subway, or anywhere, you would never forget my dad. His goal in life was to make people laugh, and if he could do that then he was happy. Every time it seen my dad he would run up to me and give me the biggest hug Ive ever had and literally pick me up lol. When I was little I would get grounded by him or my mom, and he would let me get out of it if I scratched his back lol! He would sneak and wake me up late at night to play playstation or watch X-files or cops when my mom told me I had to be in bed! You had just asked me to go tricker treating with you and my sister Sara behind Sinnissipi Park & come over for Christmas and I was really going to come this time! I feel like I hit a patch of ice and I cant straighten the wheels out! I know I quit coming around as much, and I feel lost because I cant fix it now! My biggest regret is not returning your call the day before yesterday quicker then I did! I took time for granted, and now I gotta live with that decision! Somehow I cant help but to blame myself! All you ever wanted was for our family to be together, and you tried and tried, but I always did what I do best and make up some stupid excuse on why I couldnt make it! Im not sure what I was running from, but what I can say is Im sorry and I love you! The last time we really hung out we went fishing at 7 at night and I know you hate fishing, but we ended up staying their until 12 in the afternoon the next day! It was almost like you didnt want that moment to end! We had a very deep father and son talk recently at Veronica Malloys graduation and for the first time in 24 years I seen you break down and cry, telling me how much you loved me and that you just want to be in my life and have that father and son relationship! You told me you felt like you were losing your family and that I would never show up, and that Veronica always had an attitude with you so you felt like you were losing the both of us! You never lost us dad! We were just trying to find our way in life! The lifestyle I chose to live, you are taught to hate cops, but there is one cop that I loved more then anything in this world, and that is my dad Ron Malloy! When everyone in my family told me I should stop rapping and go to school, my dad told me to not give up! He would say Im not saying this because Im your dad, but Steve you are great, and you have what it takes to make it! He never put me down, even at my lowest point! As some of you know, my dad struggled with his demons just like everyone else has, but he was a great man. He was just trying to find his own way, and maintain his family at the same time. He was fired as a cop for turning in his chief for selling illegal guns on the street because he knew that was the right thing to do! So he was blackballed and had his dream taken from him that he worked so hard for! So he was lost and was trying to find his way. After all of them years helping people, he tried so hard to find some other way to help people! So he started a company called Straight Shot Promotions! He came over my house and we sat here all night working on his logo, laughing and bonding! The logo was just a ruff draft, but he had gotten it tattooed on him and when I had asked why he would get a ruff draft tattooed on him lol! He responded because I cant imagine having a logo tattooed on me created by somebody other then my son. He started Straight Shot Promotions because he loved music, and if he wasnt a cop, then thats what he wanted to do! He wanted to help bands and be apart of somthing, and that is exactly what he did. He helped create very successful rock shows in Rockford and he loved doing it, but their was still something missing! Not being a cop would always be in the back of his head, along with keeping his family together! He missed helping people! He has pictures of him as a little kid dressed in police uniforms along with tons of police memorabilia! I had told him why dont you move to another state and become a cop, and he said because my family is here, and that is something Im not willing to sacrifice for my dreams! He loved me, Veronica, and Sara more then anything in this world and always made sure we went to six flags, go karts, and made sure we had a good childhood! If youve gotten the honor to meet my dad, then I guarantee you will remember him for the rest of your life, and I bet you can say that he was the funniest person youve ever met! When they brought my dad out of the bathroom on a gurney and let me and my sisters say our goodbyes, I just wanted to scream! I kept telling myself hes just joking and hes going to wake up any second and say Gotcha, Im just playing because thats how he was! I mean come on, my dad cant die! He is the most energized person I know! Ill never forget smelling Nag Champa incense my whole child hood or at his house, and I have been buying them for a long time because it brings me to a time when our whole family was together and happy, but I will burn one today in remembrance of my father! The person that showed me how to be funny, how to enjoy the small things even when life throws you a curve, how much you should appreciate family and friends and not take them for granted, how to keep going after your dreams when they seem so far, and most of all when we have kids to love them more then anything else, pick them up when their down, never give up on them, and to be the best father or mother you can. I never got to tell my father this when he was here and I wish I could now because maybe the outcome would of been different, but I would tell him Dad, The reason I was running and not showing up is because I hated to see you struggle and not living the dreams you wanted to live! You were my hero, and no one wants to see there hero struggle! You were the one I went to for advice, and to pick me up when I was down! When you and mom split you had begged me to come live with you and I chose to live with mom because Veronica chose to live with you so I didnt want mom to be alone! Im sure you felt like your relationship with your son was slowly falling, but it wasnt at all! I loved you more then anything, and I hate the fact It took this for me to tell you! I just want to pick up the phone and call you so we can go to Steak & Shake and talk, but I cant! You told me I saved your life when I called you that one day, but I guess I failed when you tried to call me the day before yesterday! I know for a fact if I would of returned your call sooner, this would of never happened, and Im sorry I failed you when you needed me the most! Last Christmas was just like the old times with everyone their! We were wearing grams wigs joking taking pictures, and it was like time stopped and nothing else mattered! I know you felt like you failed us, but you didnt! You completed us! Now that your gone life will no longer be the same or as enjoyable! I will keep going with my music at all cost because that is what you wanted me to do! You were going to be my road manager when I started to tour, so when I start touring that position will never be available, even if I have to do extra work, I know you will be their in spirit helping me, so it will still be like your still my road manager! I will achieve a successful music career in memory of my dad! I just hope you know that I love you more then anything, and I would give up everything for just 2 minutes with you! I hope they have Tesla, Afroman, Cheap Trick, and a ton of other great music that we havent heard yet were you are! Thank you for making me the man I am today! Please remember dad You Are My Hero! My dad gave me this letter when I was dealing with my addiction, and he is definitely one of the reasons I am clean today, and he supported me the whole time! He was even in the limo and back stage of The Oprah Show! Almost every great memory I have has him in it someway! I love you dad!
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 00:04:01 +0000