You Know You Need a Lawyer You know you need a new lawyer when: * During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway. * He tells you that his last good case was "Budweiser." * When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. * He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose." * He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger." * A prison guard is shaving your head. * Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot. * He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger. * He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table. * He begins closing arguments with, "As Ali McBeal once said ..." * He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra. * Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?" * As he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers. * The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM." * Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever." * He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
Posted on: Mon, 12 Aug 2013 21:48:53 +0000
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