You really dont know how much , every minute of every day , sometimes I wish it wold be quiete and go away , it keeps me awake at night , it keeps me thinking in daytime , it makes me sad , when ur not here , then I get numb to that pain , as its regularly , I wish I could do more , yet I think ive done all I can , to show than man , I love him with all I have , it makes me choke back on my own tears , I never know when he really is truly here , for either is presence is but body is not , or physically he is but mentally hes not , Ive tried not care , hours , minutes , nights , and days yet I love him for all he is and for all he isnt , I will always love him , its destiny I fear , it may turn out to be fantastic , it may turn out to be painstakingly , not so fantastic , it could be the making of me make me feel whole and not inferior , I think he now realises im not all , just superficial , that my actions have meaning, and I have worked so very hard to give him all I have , acceptance is all that I ask , ive sat alone many a hour , cried alone as I want him here , I could have truly walked away many moons ago , but the godess knows he is my the very plith of my soul , he has said more to me in days gone past than months that I have truly be agasp , if I didnt love you I wouldnt still be here , longing wishes your presence heart body and soul to be here . He doesnt do soppy , but I am me take me or leave me if im not the one you hold dear , but not a day , hour second , minute or hour goes by when I truly wish we were togetherr, through , smiles laughs , pain and tears , no one said if it was worth it , it was meant to easy , and thst it has been far from easy , heartbreakingly hard somedays , as questions you fear , I know you , even though you try to hide from me , or is it just the pain of another failed relationship and more misery you fear . Time will tell if you mean what you have shared this last few days , actions and perseverance through the good times and the sometimes living fear , pain isnt a easy emotion to feel , but I tell you something it makes us realise were really here . So I wait for you again , in bated breath and hope you take these nasty months , tears , and pain and make them into a imperfect pagan fairytale . Pirri Tabitha Therese forever yours if you so wish me to be . 18/2/2014
Posted on: Tue, 18 Feb 2014 04:30:32 +0000
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