just something for people to read and they may understand... from 11 months old i got dwain syndrome in my eyes, which automatically made me different to everyone else and made me a target... all through my school life i was beaten up bullied called names and accused of shit i never did, i went days of screaming,shouting and crying never wanting to go school or leave my house, id spend most of my night upstairs crying, punching walls and everything, and this was just middle school, high school was no worse id get bullied got jumped and everything, got accused of shit which ended up with police involvement and everything, i was constantly getting told to die, kill myself and starve myself to death and join people that have died and there was so many times where i wanted to end all the pain and suffering, this all led to self harm for me and i just wanted to end it all, even my own parents could see i wanted to go and not be here anymore, and the only thing that saved my life was them sitting me down and asking me if i was going to end it all, and i didnt lie to them i admitted i wanted to but instead of doing that i went to the doctors... i had to go through counseling in college because getting told to die and that was bad enough. In college after moving from one group to another and just getting it worse there i only managed to complete my year course with nearly dropping out.. from the doctors they sent me to silverwood and im not ashamed to admit it either, and i even had my own youth worker coming out to my house and talking to me, checking up on me and that Then i found out i have depression and anxiety and i just felt so alone i didnt think anyone would accept me or if i would get bullied more, in the end i got bullied yeah and it brought me down to low i used to self harm and hide it from my parents and if anyone grabbed me and that i would hold in the tears.. having this doesnt make me different to people im still a human being with thoughts and feelings, i cant help the way i am or how to stop it all im currently taking tablets and that i have really low days where i dont wanna be touched or spoken to and they can it whenever and that, im not a victim i am a survivor... before you ask yeah i do still have thoughts and that about ending it all, i still having feelings of self harm and that and no this isnt for attention this is open the eyes or the people that dont understand whats it like to be in my place! things only get worse for me i mean family have died and my best friend and friends have died theres so much of me that wants to join them but i know its not my time to go yet but when it is i want everyone to know ill never not be there ill always be in your heart!
Posted on: Thu, 05 Jun 2014 21:42:01 +0000
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