personal post: soon after i was married i prayed for a child. often i wondered if i would ever have anymore. i prayed for one and longed for a baby, even though i was living far from my family and friends and found myself in a foreign place. tonight i am thanking god for unanswered prayers. the demise of my marriage came at a very vulnerable time in my life. in the midst of change, sacrifice and day to day living i found myself distant from god, distant from my then husband and not motivated at all. i tried to find things to fill voids. i did things alone because he was never interested in the things that i enjoyed (or at least it didnt seem that way to me) how did i not see this before we got married? we spent more time apart than together. he bravely went overseas to work. while we shouldve been working on our friendship, our relationship and making plans we were stuck in love and distance made that love grow stronger. unfortunately i never got to know my husband before i married him. i have experienced so much change over the past four years and finally for the first time things are starting to feel normal again. i find myself doing everything to the best of my ability. i feel better now. i feel whole. i have things now that i have achieved on my own that i once thought was only possible if i had someone by my side. i am content with my little rent house in the country, content with my job, satisfied with my relationship with god and so thankful for the time i have with my son doing what makes us happy, living without filters. acting silly and dancing in the kitchen without watchful eyes. i have found myself again. pain and disappointment have made me a stronger person. sometimes i wonder how something that seems so bad and impossible to get through brought out the best in me. i may not have all the things i long for right now, but in time i will have those things and i know someone will be by my side to see those desires come to fruition. i work a full time job during the day, a part time job occupies a couple nights a week and in my free time i do photography...i take time to read tidbits of the bible almost every night before i go to bed and it makes me feel so good. i thank god for unanswered prayers and i thank him for what he is doing in my life. my son and i have been back in north carolina for a little over a year now, and boy are we glad we came back…this is our forever home. these mountains have our hearts.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 02:28:37 +0000
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