please share a response if u read it...and do read...it took me months to write off... A letter of a soldier Ananya ,neha’s 6 year old daughter was again behind the schedule of catching her school bus and neha who was trying hard to get her ready didnt wanted to fail in her mission … ‘’pappa wouldnt liked this if he would have been here’’, in her sweet little voice ananya told her mother when she was combing her hairs, to which neha gave a firm smile and patted on her back……… but papa is not here; she said in a low voice more to herself than her … unlike the other mornings this one was a bit uneasy…. There was a sudden heavyness in the atmosphere and neha too felt the same…may be she was missing her husband …or may be because she couldn’t sleep properly last night… Ignoring the thoughts in mind she came back to the kitchen and on the way she switched on the television… ‘’bhiya ji this is again too spicy and she don’t like it in that way’’,she told to the cook..he was in middle of his lines when her gaze went on to the television…she rushed back to find the remote and raise the volume…. Fight between militants and army in kupwada sector , jammu kashmir..7 militants killed tilll now,where 3 losses has been suffered by indian army…major vikrant ,Lt. vivek and hawaldar arjun… Major vikrant was the name she only heard and in the moments passing by she froze there.. she could realise that at the farthest world ananya was holding her legs and shouting … bhiyaji rushing on to something and the tv reporter was reading in furiously…but she standing on the other end of eternity had completly forgotten the real world.. She could only gain her senses when the knob of the pressure cooker released the excess air with a firm noice….and she immediately started to change the channels…major vikrant read one of the others and she stopped there…he was leading the troops of his 9 gorkha rifels company when he was shot on his chest..he faught bravely….the other cgannel was even showing his pahotograph along with others…and the news got confirmed….. When there is death in air , there is hollowness in hearts but neha was unmoved. She didn’t shed a tear off her eyes like she has promised to vikrant..ocassionally giving a look at ananya she did nothing and may be she realised that she could de nothing but to wait .. The body arrived the other evening and there were people, lots of them some sobbing while others in the uniform making the cremation ceremony arrangements,some were enchanting something… but the one neha wanted to say a word rested in peace…she has never seen him this way ,so helpless ..she gently touched his face which had gone hard by now….his lips still felt like he smiled in his last moments,his hairs still felt afresh of a shower ….she tried to shake him up ..but her efforts ended in vain… in the morning she bid him goodbye….and everything else went peacefully… 5 days later ……. Leaving vikrant’s parents everybody else has gone… and ananya unlike the other days is sitting on the sofa making no move,maybe she understands what has happened..neha has kept herself away from the trunk which is just brought in …may be she don’t want to feel helpless in front of ananya…she is in her room…but the heavyness still exists in her and in air… Around 10 in the night, she comes out of her room to downstairs where the trunk has been kept.major vikrant kashyap it read …she opens it slowly…and in there lies his hat ,uniforms, boots..she takes out his wallet …there is a photo of her and ananya inside it..she carefully keeps it aside…then his hat, watch and at last his uniform major vikrant is written above the side pockets and she runs her hand through it .she realises that something is there inside his pocket…inserting her fingers inside she finds out some papers kept .. Unfolding it carefully …she sees something written on it…with all the curiocity she has ever got she starts to read.. Dear neha, Its been pretty dark already and holding your hand I am trying to catch the last bus on the way back to home ,you are saying something but I don’t listn ,when I see the bus near I leave your hand and walk to the backdoor of the bus ,I turn down and you are stiill there where I left you ,struck on to something you are calling me but I don’t move …I am just looking at you like it’s the first time that I have just fallen for you or may be the last,now there are tears in your eyes…its hard for me to see you like that but I am smiling like I know everthing… .i want to stay there tilll the eternity and see you in that blue dress but I cant…I smile at you but you don’t …I want to cry but I cant… I take a step forward and I enter the bus, nobody is there… the bus starts slowly and moves…I can still see you standing there …I want the bus to stop …I want to be there with you … but nothing happens….i stand there silently until I can see you get vanished ….then I sit down slowly ……… and I cry ……… Everytime I go to bed these days this dream comes to me,its may be because I am missing you too much …or may be it’s the heavyness of the things that I feel about you but I nevar said. I don’t know I will ever be able to share my emotions with you and that is why I am writing this off….. I never had a perfect image of what love is ,I mean I saw things as they happened and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me...sometimes I feel that things moved so fast with time that I have missed some of the moments and though I feel bad that you have to suffer still I don’t regret things in life..because this is what I have choosen for myself…. Its not like I havent felt it but seeing a sense of fear within you that you could loose me anytime,I was afraid to say things…its been a while that we talked about the deep broken ends but your eyes say them all… we may not have the most perfect love story but there will be love for sure…specially when love between us was never a need but a choice were my words when I proposed you...and all I want you to know the fact that I still feel the same… I am sorry for the time I had to leave in the middle of the nights and u had fever, I am sorry for the time when ananya was born and I wasant there and for all those tough moments when you missed me….but it wasant obvious… i have a purpose to follow,the purpose I was born with and that is to serve my nation..thinking before self… I see people die everyday and sometimes I have to kill them too…and if I could sacrifice my life to the nation I wont miss out…If u ever get such a news please don’t feel bad because it wont bring me peace… you are the most beautiful thing ever happened to me and somewhere within me…i too have fears of loosing you… Take care of ananya,she is too young to understand such things..and by the time she grows up, I am sure she will understand that why papa was not there….until then share my love with her… AND DON’T WORRY I WILL BE BACK SOME DAY, IN SOME FORM OR THE OTHER…AND WE WILL HAVE A PERFECT LIFE TOGETHER…AND IF I CANT BE BACK ALIVE…plz don’t be mad at me…and just forgive me for everthing… Loved you always,Missed you never Because you were never that far,But here , In my heart… I love you neha… I love you too vikrant, I was never too upset to forgive you…we are proud of you..saying this neha folded the letter when a tear came off her eyes… you lived for a purpose and you died for it….i will be waiting for you to come back…she thought in her mind…like if he was listning from the heavens… and who knows…may be he was………..
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 13:51:13 +0000
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