relationships problems #1.When a man or woman is not willing to share power with his relationship partner, John Gottman’s research indicates there is an 81% chance that his or her relationship will self-destruct. While hoarding power may have got you ahead in your career, this strategy will backfire in your relationship because your girlfriend or boyfriend will end up feeling like his or her opinions aren’t valuable and he or she doesn’t matter to you. #2.Troubled relationships tend to follow a demand-withdraw pattern. That means that one person tends to be more critical and demanding, while the other tends to withdraw or shut down in response to conflict. Douglas Tilley, a proponent of emotion-focused therapy, notes that 85% of the time men tend to be the withdrawer. The reason may be biological -- men’s cardiovascular systems are more responsive to stress, so tuning out your mate is an attempt to avoid uncomfortable sensations. #3.Researchers have known for a long time that unhappy couples focus on the negatives in their relationships. An early study by Robinson and Price (1980) found that unhappy couples underestimated the occurrence of pleasurable events in their relationships by 50%. Also, Fincham, Beach and Baucom (1987) found that individuals in distressed relationships were prone to attributing negative intentions to their partner’s behavior.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Nov 2013 04:06:08 +0000
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