4 weeks ago I attempted to get out of bed and go to work. 4 weeks ago my life change dramatically. 4 weeks ago I thought I had woken up with a virus. 4 days later it turned out to be a bacterial infection that nearly killed me. Things Ive learnt about myself through project30 ...Im not good at losing. It did not win. I did. Kate 1 - 0 Weils disease Its a been a rough road. A tough road. I scared a lot of people, including myself. The odds are slim, less than 50 cases a year. I was unlucky. But I was also very lucky. Without treatment I would not be here telling this story and I wouldnt be back on with my mission of raising £30,000 for charity. We are so very nearly there! I have however had to reevaluate a few things. Mainly due to doctors orders. For a while yet, there will be no more mad Kate events. Big fat no no. The recovery is going to be long. Slow. Frustrating. I have had to withdraw from doing Ironman on 20th July, Im very disappointed....not that Im in a hurry to get back in a lake, but that Id trained so hard for 6 months, Id fought back from the sofa, raised my iron levels.... And now Im back to square one. With RUN131 less that 100 days away. (Yes Im panicking!) Whilst in hospital, and recovering at home, Ive had lots of thinking time. Reflecting time. Ironically I now have more time to waffle but less energy. But I will say this... When I set about with the crazy idea of project30 I believed that you could do anything you set your mind to. I set my mind to doing 30 sporting challenges and raising £30,000 for charity. I survived (just) my 30 challenges and raised £20,000. I still believe that you can do anything you set your mind to. I set my mind to many things last year and I won. I overruled my body and I won! Pain is temporary. This pain is temporary. It will get better. I will recover (despite some of the scary stuff Ive read on google). Last year however I entered Karl into one (well actually a few, but well focus on this main one) event that I thought would change his life for the better. I signed him up to the Outlaw triathlon without his knowledge or agreement. I thought you can do anything you set your mind to. The difficulty I faced with this challenge was that Karl never actually set his mind to it. I did. It was my mind. I set my mind to believing that I could get him to train and succeed. I failed. And what Ive come to realise is, lifes too short. Do what makes you happy. Forcing Karl to train for Outlaw was not making him happy. Dragging him out training was not making him happy. It was the toughest 6 months of my life! I maintain my belief that he would be bloody awesome at it if he chose to do it. But he didnt choose. I did. And me becoming very ill was the final straw. He was already struggling with the intensity of the training, but with the driving force laying in the High Dependency Unit, and demanding all his energy and attention into getting me well, a decision had to be reached. Outlaw is no more. In the last few weeks Ive regained my husband. He laughs again. He whistles. He hums. Now that Im eating and drinking again he takes me out for breakfast. We spend time together. We no longer mention the O word. Our bike counters have gone into sleep mode. My brand new trainers remain in the box, waiting for this first outing. Our wetsuits remain hanging bathroom, waiting for the next outing.... They will have a very long wait!! Im disappointed, Im not gonna lie. Im disappointed that he wont be there on the start line. I would have loved to have seen him succeed. And who knows, maybe one day he will. But hell be there of his own choice, not mine. So for now, all my energy has to go into making a full recovery and coming up with creative ways to raise money that do not require running. Or cycling. And definitely not swimming! Starting with the Guiness world record attempt this Saturday for the largest gathering of fairies. Fingers crossed for its success. Im actually more nervous about this than anything else Ive ever done. Mainly because I have absolutely no control of it... And because I lost the month of June to some horrible illness that ruined my promo time! Hey ho. We will give it a go! Please come along if you can xxx
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 06:01:49 +0000
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