A SORRY that is common. Do read and decide if you need to say sorry to someone. The word Sorry is to be taught at an early age, although we may use it many years later, when we are mature enough to use it. Saying sorry immediately after committing a mistake is however, graceful and ideal. Sometimes we realize our mistakes much later, but better late than never. Story of Sorry : When I was in high school, I was in the middle crowd, in popularity. Not miss popularity, but well liked, and definitely not a nerd or smoker. Just a nice, ordinary middle-of-the-road kind of girl. In our class was another girl, P. Income-wise, I was just a rung or two above her, and she was dirt poor. We had worked in the fields together, both of us to help the parents make ends meet, and we were both Salvation Army and Goodwill shoppers. Our mothers often exchanged boxes or bags of used clothing between them for us kids. Where my clothing was washed once a week, hers might have seen a washer once a month. We had no hot water in our bathroom, so once a week we carried buckets to the tub in there and took a bath. They had no hot water in their house, and quite often no electricity or heat. I wonder if she ever bathed. Probably not very often. I had known her since elementary school, but we had never gone to the same school until high school. My sophomore year, she was a freshman. I saw her see me in the hall that first day. She was so happy to see me, came running up to talk to me, and I turned away. Then she called my name. I ignored her and kept talking to my friends. I knew, if I was friends with her, others wouldnt be friends with me. I ignored her. People laughed, when I refused to acknowledge P. After a minute or so, she walked away. She got the message. I was not her friend. I felt ashamed right away. Not enough to apologize, or be the person I know I should have been, just enough to feel guilty. For the next two years I saw how P was treated. People making stinky nose gestures at her, carefully moving away from her, not letting her sit at the lunch table with them. Refusing to be her lab partner. She wasnt invited to sleep-overs or dances or parties. I didnt do those things, she never came close enough to me again, to be hurt by me. I never again did anything hurtful to her, but I never helped her either. And I didnt invite her anywhere, ever. Looking back, I realize that one of two things could have happened; I could have been nice to P and made her path through the teen years a little easier or I could have been nice to her and made mine a living hell as well. I wish I would have had the self-confidence and courage to have made the choice to be nice. I realize now that it isnt enough just not to be a bully. I should have stood up for her in some way. I ran into a mutual high school friend about 10 years ago at a beauty salon. Ps name came up because the friend had just cut Ps hair a few days prior to mine. My name had come up in their conversation, as well. P had asked the hairdresser friend if she ever saw me, and that she would like to see me sometime. P told her that I had been her best friend all through school and she really wanted to touch base. I cried on the way home, thinking if I had been her best friend, her life must have been even more miserable than I could have imagined. I am sorry, P. I grew up, eventually. I am now a responsible, caring teacher, who doesnt tolerate that type of behavior. You cant make kids like each other, but you can teach them tolerance and acceptance. You can teach them to respect others, and to understand that we dont all have the same life circumstances. I am sorry, P, that I was not kinder to you, but I am a much better person than I used to be, thanks to you.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 20:13:58 +0000
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