A Sacred Marriage A giant thread runs throughout scripture comparing Gods relationship to His people with the human institution of marriage (Gary Thomas). The problem is that most Christians either dont see the thread and/or they dont realize its importance. We sure didnt until more recent years. But because we enter into a covenant relationship with God and our spouse when we marry, we should consider marriage to be sacred and take it as seriously as God does! Thats why we want to point out a book that we wish everyone could read. Its called Sacred Marriage, written by Gary Thomas. If you can obtain and read this book, we HIGHLY recommend you do so. For us, it has been a real life-changer, in the way we now see and approach marriage. So, for this Marriage Message, were going to share a few quotes from the book, hoping youll also prayerfully consider (and apply) what Gary writes: -- To spiritually benefit from marriage, we have to be honest. We have to look at our disappointments, own up to our ungodly attitudes, and confront our selfishness. We also have to rid ourselves of the notion that the difficulties of marriage can be overcome if we simply pray harder or learn a few simple principles. Most of us discovered that these simple steps work only in a superficial level. Why is this? Because theres a deeper question that needs to be addressed beyond how we can improve our marriages: What if God didnt design marriage to be easier? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place? What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? -- When we enter into a close relationship with the other person we can work on issues in the light of what our marriage relationship will reveal to us about our own behavior and our attitudes. I have found there has been tremendous amount of immaturity within me that my marriage directly confronted. The key was that I had to change my view of marriage. If the purpose of marriage was simply to enjoy an infatuation and make me happy, then Id have to get a new marriage every two or three years. But if I really wanted to see God transform me from the inside out, Id need to concentrate on changing myself rather than on changing my spouse. In fact, you might even say, the more difficult my spouse proved to be, the more opportunity Id have to grow. Just as physical exercise needs to be somewhat strenuous, so relational exercise may need to be a bit vigorous to truly stress-test the heart. -- I believe that much of the dissatisfaction experienced in marriage comes from expecting too much from it. I have a rather outdated computer, so I know there are some things I simply cant do with it; theres not enough memory or processing power to run certain programs or combine certain tasks. Its not that I have a bad computer; its just that I cant reasonably expect more from it than it has power to give. In the same way, some of us expect too much of marriage. We want the largest portion of our lifes fulfillment from our relationship with our spouse. Thats asking too much. Yes, without a doubt there should be moments of happiness, meaning, and a general sense of fulfillment. But my wife cant be God, and I was created with a spirit that craves God. Anything less than God, and Ill feel an ache. -- Knowing why we are married and should stay married is crucial. This will lead us into a discussion argued by Pastor C.J. Mahaney in an audiotape series on marriage titled According to Plan. The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator. -- Pre-marriage infatuation can be an intoxicating drug that temporarily covers up any number of inner weaknesses. But marriage is a spotlight showing us that our search for another human being to complete us is misguided. When disillusionment breaks through, we have one of two choices: Dump our spouse and become infatuated with someone new, or seek to understand the message behind the disillusionment --that we should seek our significance, meaning and purpose in our Creator rather than in another human being (our spouse). -- One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have said, Heres to helping you discover what youre really like! (a quote from Gary and Betsy Ricucci) -- What marriage has done for me is hold a mirror up to my sin. It forces me to face myself honestly and consider my character flaws, selfishness, and anti-Christian attitudes, encouraging me to be sanctified and cleansed and to grow in godliness. Kathleen and Thomas Hart write, Sometimes what is hard to take in the first years of marriage is not what we find out about our partner, but what we find out about ourselves. As one young woman who had been married about a year said, I always thought of myself as a patient and forgiving person. Then I began to wonder if that was just because I had never before gotten close to anyone. In marriage, when John and I began dealing with differences, I saw how small and unforgiving I could be. I discovered a hardness in me I had never experienced before. -- If there is one thing engaged couples need to hear, its that a good marriage is not something you find, its something you work for. It takes struggle. You must crucify your selfishness. It helps when we view our struggles in light of what they provide for us spiritually rather than in light of what they take from us emotionally. Working through disagreements is taxing. There are a million things Id rather do than put the time and effort to leap over a relational hurdle. If Im in my marriage for emotional stability, I probably wont last long. But if I think it can reap spiritual benefits, Ill have reason to not just be married, but act married. -- Marriage can never remove trials--in fact it almost always creates new ones. But even difficult marriages to difficult men can give women the strength to become the people God created them to be. (So it is for men married to difficult women as well.) -- Please consider: Merely being faithful to your spouse is quite a testimony in this society. But as you go beyond that to communicate love for your spouse in a consistent, creative, and uninhibited way, the world cant help but notice. God will be honored. (Gary and Betsy Ricucci) It is our hope and prayer that God will be honored by the way every one of us conducts ourselves within marriage. Even if our spouse doesnt act in an honorable way, it doesnt give us an excuse to do that, which is wrong. May we continually reveal and reflect the heart of Christ in the way we live our lives, both within our homes and outside of them. And may our actions be used of God to point others to Him, so they will want to know our God better!
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 13:36:33 +0000
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