A guy that I know from the gym came up to me the other day and asked me a question: My wife and I are going through a divorce... what kind of advice can you give me? For a moment I didnt know what to say. Ive casually known this guy and his wife for several years and was surprised to hear that they were divorcing. I also know that they have an 11 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. Sensing my hesitation, he quickly added: I know that youve been divorced for a long time and I also know that you - and your ex-wife - are both very close to your kids. How did you make that happen? I paused for a second, and then replied: Im certainly not an expert, but I do have two pieces of advice for you. First, call your son and daughter EVERY single day. This is vital since you no longer will be seeing them on a daily basis. You MUST, however, try to connect with them each and every day - this is incredibly important for them at their age. Needless to say, I continued, they wont always be in the mood to talk. Thats okay! You dont need to have a conversation with them every day... you just need to connect with them. The second thing is this: keep a picture of your children on your dresser and pray for them EVERY day. I cant tell you how much comfort I still get from looking at pictures of my children and praying for them. It may sound silly but it is another way of feeling connected with them. Plus, it reminds me that love is not restricted by distance and that, ultimately, theyre not really MY children... they belong to God. Hes their true Protector, Provider and Parent... I have simply been granted the privilege of caring for them here on earth. At that point, the guy looked at me and didnt say a word. I smiled a little as I could see that he was processing everything I had just said. I could also tell that he still had something on his mind. What is it? I asked. Well, I do have one more question. As you can imagine, my wife and I really arent getting along well right now. Do you have any advice on how I should act once shes my ex-wife? After a hearty Good Luck laugh, I looked at him and said, Honestly, its pretty easy: Try your best to NEVER talk bad about her... ESPECIALLY in front of your children. And, always pay your child support. I continued by saying: I know that many men struggle with this, and I know that there may be many reasons why you wouldnt want to honor these two things. However, if you truly love your children and want to do whats best for THEM, youll follow those two pieces of advice. And, if you do, I can assure you that you - and your family - will be blessed. At this point I think the poor guys brain was a bit overloaded so I shut up, smiled, and told him to feel free to get in touch with me if he ever needed to talk. He nodded his head, shook my hand, and then looked at me and said Than you, I really appreciate it. As he walked away, I said a little prayer for him, knowing that doing whats right wont always be easy. It will, however, be worth it :) -- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 17:58:56 +0000
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