By now, many of you have probably heard about Facebook’s experiment to alter the feeds of nearly 700,000 users to be predominantly negative or positive, and observing their effects. The deeper story here is not necessarily the worrying implications for privacy, but that I believe they missed the point altogether. It neglects the truth of being human. Let me explain why: Quite obviously, nothing is strictly negative or positive. To presume that we know for a fact that something is simply good or bad is to say we can see into the future, with perfect precision, which of course we cannot. Sometimes, for instance, when we post something that appears outwardly positive, especially if it is to hide our own uncertainty or insecurity, it can create jealousy or envy - it is unfortunate, but human beings naturally compare themselves to one another to see how we stack up. It is a built-in sociological trait, not something to be denied or avoided. For example, this is why I am often so annoyed by vanity selfies from beautiful women - no matter how gorgeous, they are often a beacon and resonator for insecurity. Chances are, they are just making other girls attempt to live up to unrealistic, damaging perspectives of themselves compared to others, and I think this needs to stop. Everyone is beautiful. Period. The most damaging type of “positive” post in this regard, which I have seen countless times, advocates that we have no right to complain, or should just feel better, or focus on the positive and “manifest abundance”. All well and good, and these posts seem very rosy and helpful on the surface. But, in my experience, their effects - especially on depressed or anxious minds - can be hurtful, even destructive. No one in the midst of suffering wishes to be told that they are wrong for feeling pain, that it is invalid, unimportant or ignorant, or something to be kept in silence. It simply is. Pain is. Suffering happens. It is life. There is a reason why this is the fundamental teaching of one of the oldest spiritual traditions on Earth. Buddha knew what was up, then and now. Of course, simply complaining about your situation, playing victim or pointing fingers will solve very little, but it can be equally detrimental as when we post in vanity, or pride, or self-importance, to place ourselves above others. Whether we know it or not, this is often the motivation behind it, and I have indeed been guilty of this from time to time myself. I am trying to be more mindful of it. The best ways to traverse my own triumphs and suffering in life is to be open about it all, and help others along the way as much as I can. I think this is true for all of us. So, a big solution to this is simply honesty. The moment we start to deceive each other, or tell each other we’re wrong, things can get messy. When you paint something as just good or bad, it neglects the incredibly broad spectrum of human experience in between where almost everything in life actually happens. Sometimes suffering can be beautiful. Sometimes incredible successes can be irritating and hurtful to others if they are not shared, but touted above your fellow beings like a trophy. If you’re in pain, instead of simply complaining, try to use that pain to tell people how you’re really feeling, ask for support, keep your heart in a place of compassion, and receive the help you need from your community. Likewise, if you are in a state of elation, feeling like you can conquer the world, before you share it with others, ask yourself, “How can I share this energy, how can I phrase this feeling, in a way that helps to lift others up, as I have been lifted, rather than putting myself above them?” If we all did this I believe that our social world would not only be of higher quality, but in fact act as a better therapeutic, sociological tool to help each other succeed and thrive. It is of course not relegated to the realms of Facebook and Twitter, but our shared world as a whole. Never forget the immensity of grey between the black and white, for that is where almost all of us derive our experience and share. If you have ever felt envy of me, for instance, please don’t - I do not deserve it, and suffer too on my path. No one deserves to be envied, no matter how incredible they may appear. Everyone is simply human like you. Likewise, no one deserves to be struck down when they are already in a rut, communicating their feelings in an attempt to resolve them. You all deserve all the love and respect you can give yourselves and one another, and I sincerely believe compassionate honesty will see us through the countless storms and triumphs of existence.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 15:25:48 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015