CHAPTER 10 The desats continued but her blood gases were improving. We were told she was now on formula and my milk to help with weight gain. During a routine scan they found the duct in her heart was still open, they were to keep an eye on it as it may need an operation to close it, we hoped not though. On day 42 Hope weighed 1lb 12oz...so close to 2lb now but she was still desatting loads and didnt want to be handled, that was so hard as I wanted to hold my baby again, or just touch her but we werent allowed to. That week my nan was also taken into hospital and she didnt have long to go. It was a really hard time watching my nan drifting away and watching my daughter struggling. Soon enough she had another infection, I left the unit and cried my eyes out in the toilets. Not another infection, I wondered when things would start to improve for our baby. I looked at her and hated my body for making her come so soon and fight so hard. She was losing too much feed from her stoma so it wasnt staying in her making her grow. On March 30th my nan passed away. It was a very hard day but luckily Hope was behaving today. The next day we went in and heard she was now 2lb 1oz but she was poorly again. Her lung had collapsed so she needed a lot of suction and physio, her oxygen levels we 80%...too high bubba. At 57 days old, Hope started lifting her head up :) Then another in fection at 63 days old, I was having a tough time coping and so was Michael...so hard and feeling helpless. On 30th April, Hope was due to have her stoma put back but she developed a chest infection. At 4pm she was having her physio, she had a massive brady and desat. Seeing her go blue was the worst thing, was our baby going to make it....we were sent out of intensive care while she was stabilised, the minutes went so slow but she stabilised and we were allowed back in. She had a few bad days and at 85 days old her sats dropped to 30, she had a lot of episodes today and needed the neo puff lots....really want a fast forward button now...... She started to sort herself out and her operation to re join her stoma was booked for day 87 on 8th May.....
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 19:30:05 +0000
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