Chapter 18 Siye sayothatha umama with dad wabe esithi ugqirha she must slow down on stressful things. Ungandbuzi nam ba njani kuba things were gonna get harder now ndizawthi ndngena ndive abantu abandhlebayo! Andthethi ke etaxin tjoo yaz umntu akamazi nalomntu athetha ngaye kodwa uyalophoza doesnt matter noba lomntu ukwakuletaxi because umhlebi uyakwazi uqina enyaleni wesi eligagu nje. My mom will have to do everything in her power to protect me from izinto ezinjalo xa kusithiwa she must not be stressed khandxelele uzakwazi njani to protect me. Ndiye ndanqwala ke kuba bendingenokuthini ugqirha uthethile. Saphuma saya endlini notata he was gonna have supper nathi kuba I needed both of my parents so noba bebengavani at that moment the had to put it aside for the sake of their only daughter. My mom had lost a lot of weight during ezontsuku unlike someone else I know. Safika endlini wabe esithi umama kuzopheka amadoda mna naye kufuneka sithethile. I sighed because I knew I would have to go back to that new years eve night again! I followed her to her room and closed the door behind me. Bendenzela noba nzathukwa or nzabethwa bangade bave bona obhuti. Her: mntanam ndicela uthethe nomamakho, uziva njani? Me: ndiryt mama though Ive had better days. Her: you have to talk about your feelings kaloku xa ungafuni uthetha nalasisi you have to talk to me. Khona uyatyeba uyazbona! Me: mama its just that andkwazi uzinceda ndizibona sendbetheka ekhabhathini I wanna eat my misery away qho ndicinga ngobabusuku ndiye ndilambe kakhulu okungathi ziintsuku ndingatyi isisu sithi ncaa emqolo:(! Mom just look at me, izidlele zigcwele, imilenze mikhulu :( hay maan I just hate myself! My clothes no longer fit me, who will love me xa ndinje? Her: I love you Aphiwe noba ungatyeba unxibe u50 ubhitye ba uyathanda I will always love you and if people really loved you unxiba u28 then they will love you naku34! Who knows maybe your heart is getting bigger too:) so you should look at this like a trial at the end of the day people who really cared about you will help you choose knew clothes that will make you even more beautiful. Me: Im too young for all of this I just want to have a normal life but now the spotlight will be on me:( I have to tell everyone qho that I was raped. Do you know how much it hurts me to see that they no longer look at me the same! Nawe mama undjonga like you feel sorry for me, I get that you entitled to feel that way but how am I suppose to get past this xa ndizojongwa olohlobo all my life. Her: mntanam this came as a shock kuthi I look at you that way kuba I cant believe how strong my daughter is! Abanye abantwana at your age or even older wouldve committed suicide that same night but guess what not you, wena ude wayabaxela nasemapoliseni. Do you know how many people get raped but choose not to report the rapist as they dont want to face the change it will have on their lives. Me: nam mama yazi I didnt want to report them kuba ndisoyika ukuba wena uzothini I thought uzandbetha or something (ndajonga phantsi) Her: (hugs me) how could you even think of that ngam? Am I a bad mother that you think I would blame you for being raped:( ndalila nam kuba I didnt think of it that way. My mom is a great mother she wakes up ezinzulwini zolwini zobusuku when I have a bad dream, she even went to my school when I was bullied tjuuu wayebomvu:) so shes just the BEST nyani
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 17:21:02 +0000
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